Ten Minutes Too Late
by doolittledarvey
Summary: Following on a month after the events in 6:10 we discover how, in Jessica's absence, the PSL family has blown itself apart. Mike has returned to the fold, but where is Rachel? What terrible act is Louis guilty of committing this time? What brought Harvey and Donna together only to have a near-fatal stabbing rip them apart? Can tragedy bind all six of them together once more?
1. Chapter 1 - The First Cut

**TEN MINUTES TOO LATE**

 **CHAPTER ONE**

 **The First Cut**

" _ **THE PRESENT DAY"**_

It had been four weeks since it happened.

Had it only been a month?

Donna stood in front of her open bedroom window and inhaled deeply. The smell of summer lingered on the final rays of sunlight as they dipped behind the tall buildings of Manhattan. She didn't mind. Not in the slightest. Fall was her favourite season. Fall meant red, therefore it belonged to HER. There was something so very 'Donna' about it. Cooler, sharper, snappier – whether it be the crisp bite to a September morning air, or the rustle of autumnal leaves as they line the avenues of the city.

And Halloween. Her favourite holiday. This year they would have a party – she'd make sure of it.

She could barely see her reflection in the window. It was still too light. There was a faint outline – the white of her dress, a faint glimmer of sunrays hitting her irises, the darker outline of her lips, the bright autumnal shade of her hair. It would be dark in an hour and dusk was her favourite time of day. After all, the best reflections came after dark, didn't they?

Ever since that night, four weeks ago, Donna had found herself haphazardly gazing out through tall, clear windows, watching as night sweeps over the city and wraps the world in darkness – and in sparkles. It had become one of her favourite things to do and she knew it was a guilty pleasure – a sort of weird re-enactment of something that had been so private and so intimate. When she does it her memory drifts to that night and she plays out every moment out in her mind, remembering how softly the light lit the scene from the office hallway, providing the perfect reflection for the actors to bear their souls.

She remembers every direction. She remembers the sound her skirt made as she walked towards him. She can still smell his cologne – orange with a hint of bergamot – and she can recall every word that was spoken. She knows how each scene unfolds.

It didn't start as anything extraordinary. Harvey had always done some of his best thinking whilst taking in the view from his 50th floor office. Or from his penthouse apartment. It calmed him. It helped him focus his thoughts. Looking down at the city under his feet reminded him that he'd made it. It told him he could do anything. The word was his lobster!

So, no. None of that was unusual.

The astonishing came later.

The astonishing came with a tiny, simple, monosyllabic word – 'no'.

She hadn't expected him to say it.

No.

His smile had made her heart melt and the tone of his voice commanded the butterflies to flutter in her stomach.

He didn't want to be alone. Not anymore.

Not after forty years of life. Not after twelve years of … of what? Of friendship? Of soul-mate-ship? Of painful, heart-breaking, never-ending, relentless, tumultuous, unrequited love?

The push and pull ended that night. In that room. In that moment. With that word.

No, he didn't want to be alone. Yes, he wanted to be with her.

She had turned on her heel. She was expecting the shut-down, the block, the self-preservation. But the walls didn't go up. Not this time. Maybe it was Jessica's shock decision which hit home for him. Jessica – his partner – had chosen life over work. She had seized her own happiness. She had taken the bull by the horns and she was prepared to wrestle it to the death to get what she wanted.

For him, the decision hadn't been as spontaneous as Jessica's, but it had been just as bold. Donna knew that now, but did she know it then? Maybe she did. She knew there had been months of therapy, months of quiet acknowledgement, months that had followed years of denial. Years of pretence. Years of building up walls around himself – walls that only she could dismantle. Sure, Scottie had removed a brick or two. Zoe, Esther, all the faceless-nobodies he'd claimed for an evening here or there had chipped away at the surface. Hell, even Mike had helped him to see that no matter how chaotic his life got, there was always one constant – one certainty … Donna was always standing dead of centre, shoulder-to-shoulder with him in whatever hideous mess he'd found himself in.

That's what he had told her. That's the reason he had given her when she asked him why he had taken her hand that night and held her. She reached first and it had been an impulse – a 'Donna' thing to do – but she had known he would respond exactly the way he responded. She knew because … well … she was Donna. She knew what he was thinking. The way he was standing at the window told her he had caught up with life – with her. The tilt to his smile told her he loved her. The soft gasp in his voice told her his walls were slowly crumbling to dust.

The hidden told her more than the revealed, because for Donna, the hidden was the revealed. To the outside world, 'no' meant Harvey Specter didn't want to be alone. To Donna, the resolve etched on his face, the harmony in his voice and the relaxed contours of his body meant Harvey Specter wanted to be with her. He was ready.

But that was four week ago and so much has happened since then.

Their relationship had slowly evolved despite the warzone they were living in. Jessica's departure had thrown the dynamics of the Pearson Specter Litt family into turmoil, but none of them had envisaged what was to come. The rest of them – Louis, Mike and Rachel – had brought despair, conflict and pain into those first few weeks, at a time when she and Harvey needed the freedom to explore their feelings. It should have been much easier than this. After twelve years, fate owed them one. Surely karma should have made things simpler. Were there no gods to intervene? No goddesses with a wry sense of humour thinking, 'these two star-crossed idiots need a fucking break'.

Donna moves away from the window, her heart raw with the unfairness of it all, but her brain acknowledging that 'that's life' and she just had to suck it up. She switches on her dressing table light, sending bright amber into the dark corner of her bedroom. She brushes out her hair, wondering if she should wear it up, or at least add something – a barrette maybe – that would complement the importance of the evening. 'He likes it down', she remembers and the deal is sealed. She brushes her copper waves one last time, letting her hair fall around her shoulders. She's happy if he's happy. Leaving her hair how he like it is a small thing after all.

She leaves her bedroom and moves into the sitting room, making sure she has everything she needs in her bag: spare change, top-up lipstick and rouge, cell-phone, tissues and finally … house keys. The party is due to start in half an hour and she's aiming to arrive on time and not late (Donna is never late) but also not early (Donna is often early, but never to a party).

She locks up her apartment and descends the stairs of her building. It's a Friday night, but she knows the best place in her locale to pick up a cab. Harvey had offered to send Ray around, but she declined. She knew he had to be there early to organise things with Robert and Sean. Not that he was looking forward to it. He hated change and this was change with a ten foot tall letter "C" decked out in fairy lights under a hail of ticker tape.

Her stomach sinks as she considers the merger. It had been her idea. She had pushed him towards it and she knew she'd have to be with him every step of the way to see it through. But she was there. She was always there. And inside the hell they had just left behind them, she had fallen in love with him even more. And Harvey? Well, he had become the man his father had always dreamed he'd become: emotionally coherent in his love of her, unfaltering in his support of her and dedicated to a promise he made to protect her.

She keeps hold of that thought as she rides through the streets of Manhattan to the downtown location of the restaurant booked for tonight's party. In one respect, her life had morphed into the life she'd always dreamed about. Somebody loved her and that somebody was Harvey Specter. For twelve years she'd wished her heart had chosen him and she'd fought against the very real fact that it had. She allows her thoughts about Harvey and the future they'd planned block out the worst August of her life – and she doesn't just mean the abysmal billables or the lack of new business or the virtual gun placed at Harvey and Louis's temples, forcing them to finally accept the financial help they needed to keep the ship afloat. Their ship – and Jessica's legacy.

She had to pull him through the last week. She prevented him from throttling Louis and rejoiced with him when Mike agreed to join them as a consultant. Of course she commiserated over the (hopefully temporary) loss of Rachel, but mostly they were all getting there. Barely getting there. In truth, some were existing better than others. Dread and nagging claws at her stomach as the lies, disappointment, anger, shame and grief of the last fortnight bombards her mind. She had been in the thick of it – with Louis and Tara and with Mike and Rachel. She didn't want to go behind his back and god knows, she hadn't wanted to be right about any of it. Not this time. But ignorance is never bliss – not in Donna's world. Something was wrong and she couldn't rest until she found out what it was. She interfered, she fought for her friends and she went against Harvey's wishes. There was pain and anger, but she's glad she did it. She hoped Louis would be there tonight. She knew Rachel wouldn't be there.

They take a right turn and rush headlong into backed up traffic on 3rd Avenue. Donna glances at her watch. She's cutting it fine now, but if they take a short cut in the direction of Lexington, they might still make it. She asks the driver and he obliges, racing through the streets and reaching their destination just five minutes after the 8.30pm start. She pays the cab driver and thanks him for his expert driving, leaving him a big tip.

After Donna steps out of the cab, she stands in front of the doorway for a moment, taking in the enormity of what was about to happen. She inhales a deep breath because she knows all of their lives are going to change forever. From tomorrow she is going to be employed by a new firm – Zane Specter Cahill.

And then she feels like she's been hit by a truck.

A hefty blow almost knocks her to the ground as something or somebody collides with her. She yells a guttural 'hey' in response as the figure almost knocks her to the ground. Then her bag is ripped out of her hand and a man – hooded in royal blue – runs off down the street with it.

Before she knows what she's doing she's running after him, which is stupid given she's wearing five inch heels. She realises almost immediately that she doesn't have a hope in hell of catching up with him, yet the injustice, the rage, the offence carries her forward in a momentous surge of anger.

"You alright, lady?"

She doesn't recognise the voice and she doesn't turn around, her gaze is still fixed upon the hooded figure who has just caused her to almost break an ankle by running in her newest Christian Louboutin diamante encrusted sandals.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I've lost my purse, my keys and … fuck … I've lost my cell … fuck!" She turns around and looks at the man who is dressed in a tuxedo suit. She assumes he's one of Zane's lawyers or clients – shorter than her with grey hair, blue eyes and a cock-eyed smile. "Sorry about my language, but … shit …"

"Hey, don't worry about it. I got a good look at him. We'll call the police. I'm sure I could give them a good description for you."

Donna smiles and thanks the man.

Others from the party call out in concern: "Everything all right?"

"Yeah, we got it," shouts the man.

A shiver shoots down Donna's back and settles in a dull ache at her spine. She was just about to call for more help, but now she's suspicious. "How have we 'got it'?" she asks him, her brow knotted with even more dread than that which is lying in her stomach.

The man smiles at her. It's a strange smile. Unsettling. "Are you Donna Paulsen?"

She doesn't say yes. There's something wrong – terribly wrong – she looks back at the doorway to the restaurant. A few more people have arrived. There's only one security man. Should she shout for help? Should she run? Or would that be stupid.

Her throat feels raw, but she manages to speak. "Who are you? What do you want?"

The man smiles darkly and steps forward. "Somebody wanted me to give you something." He grabs her by her shoulders before she has a chance to scream.

And it's over in seconds. And he's gone.

Funny thing was, when the blade entered her body and nothing followed it, she thought she'd struck lucky. She thought she was safe. A voice in her head said 'is that it?' The man had disappeared, following the hooded guy – his decoy – into the blackness of the city.

She stands alone, a sharp pain testament to what has just happened to her, but she still can't believe that was it. No gunshot. No assault. No further blow. Just one deep cut into her flesh, below her ribcage, missing her stomach, missing her lungs. She tells herself she'll be okay. She fights the shock. She takes a deep breath and she decides she has to fight it. What choice does she have?

Her hand shoots to her side and she feels the warm wetness immediately, but she refuses to give in. She isn't going to fall where she stands. Mind over matter. She tells herself it isn't that bad. It can't be. Fate – the cosmic balance in the universe – wouldn't allow anything bad to happen. Not now that she is happy. Not when she finally has the life she's always wanted.

Donna starts to walk towards the restaurant. She needs Harvey. He'll know exactly what to do. He'll be able to fix everything … make it all better.

After twenty steps her legs start to shake. She tells herself it's the shock and she blocks it out. She focuses on Harvey and how much he needs her.

Another ten steps and her body starts to fall asleep, her limbs locking, her muscles aching, the pain growing stronger.

She focuses on the stairs now. There are three of them leading up to the restaurant. She tells herself she can do it. She draws in a breath, concentrating everything she has on the slow inhale and exhale of her lungs. Feeling her own chest rise and fall in soft vibrations.

She makes it by grabbing onto a rail and hauling her body up.

The doorman she passes is chatting to a blonde paralegal or associate or … or who cares … she's nearly there. She doesn't have time for him to check her name off his list, so she doesn't answer him when he calls after her. 'I'm Donna' she replies in her head. She hears him follow her, but she doesn't stop walking, her eyes searching the room for Harvey. In a blurred sea of black suits, she scans for tall, for brown hair, for dark eyes.

One foot goes in front of the other and it feels like every step could be her last. Her head swims, her legs feel like jell-o, her hands. She looks down and sees red. She feels red under her fingertips. She feels drops of red running down her legs.

"Ma'am if you don't give me your name, I'm afraid you're going to have to leave," says the doorman again. He has a paper list held tightly in his hand.

"Donna", she croaks faintly, then she mumbles 'Just Donna' under her breath. And then she falters, her arms grabbing onto a stool belonging to the restaurant bar.

"Ma'am are you okay?"

Her eyes close. But she still – somehow – manages to stand.

"Ma'am? … Oh shit … oh … Can somebody call 911 immediately! This woman's seriously hurt!"

When her eyes open, a kaleidoscope of shapes and colours blur her line of vision. Black suits. Sparkling gold, silver, blue and pink dresses. She reaches up to push her hair away from her face so she can see, but all she sees is red on her hands and all she feels is bile rising into the throat.

She hears her name again. "Donna? Donna, oh my god what happened?" She looks up into the bright blue eyes of her friend and he stumbles backwards in shock when he sees the blood. "Harvey!" he screams at the top of his voice. "Can somebody get Harvey Specter?" Then he turns back to her, his face marked by the horror of the situation. "Oh my God, Donna. What happened?"

Donna half-rests on the stool and reaches for her friend. Mike takes her blood-drenched hand in his without flinching, swooping his arm around her. The pain is suddenly unbearable and the entire left side of her body starts to burn. Her legs give way underneath her, but she feels another set of arms around her, catching her and lowering her gently to the floor.

Her breaths are laboured as she looks up at both of them. Harvey and Mike – her lover and his best friend. They both look like hell. They're both shouting for help. She feels guilty. Even as she lies on the floor, her blood on their hands, she feels guilty. The night is ruined. Stupid, she knows, but she can't help it. She feels Harvey scoop her into his lap, Mike still holding her hand, and then panic engulfs her.

"Harvey, I'm sorry." She looks into his eyes and she is terrified. His face is red, his skin sweaty, his eyes wild and his jaw is pulsating with tension and fear. She can hear voices all around them. There are shouts for help and there are calls for witnesses, but all she needs is his arms. His strong, safe arms. She can't believe how stupid she'd been to think this was nothing. She had lost so much blood already and she was tired and she wanted to sleep. 'He'll know what to do', she repeats in her mind. Her own psyche knowing what she wants to hear as her body starts to shut down.

"I'm going to check on the ambulance," says Mike as he takes to his feet. "You need to put pressure on the wound. Stop the bleeding."

The doorman is at her side then. He has a tablecloth folded into a ball which he pushes against her middle. She bites down hard as the pressure and pain collides.

"Donna, stay awake, please you've got to." Harvey's voice breaks and she knows he's crying. She's crying too. She knows there are others around them. She hears Mike telling them it won't be long now. Her eyes close again and he shakes her back into painful reality. "Stay awake, do you hear me?"

"I'm sorry … I … I followed him. I shouldn't have. He stole my bag."

She feels him lift her head up and his body changes. He no longer looks like he's been hit by a bus. He looks defiant – like he's charging into battle. "Donna, I'm ordering you to keep your eyes open, you hear me? Shut them one more time and I'm going to kick your ass!"

She laughs because she knows what he's trying to do – keep her awake and alert. "I'm trying."

"You have to do more than try. You've got to keep your goddamn eyes open because … if you fall asleep … you might …" she wants to brush the tears from his face but she doesn't have the energy to raise her hand. "Look, we are getting you out of here … help is on the way … just hang in there … please hang in there … I love you."

Donna smiles herself awake. "I love you too and we're … we're going to …" Her voice catches in her throat and she coughs. And there's blood. She sees nothing but terror written in Harvey's face and she panics because she feels herself floating away from him. "Harvey … am I going to die? I don't want to …"

"Shh, you're not going to die."

"But, I can't. I can't feel my legs and … it hurts … I …"

"Hey, no stop … stop that right now." He strengthens his voice. The lawyer takes over. "You're going to be fine … look the paramedics are here. Everything will be fine. I promised that I'd look after you and I'd never let anything bad happen …"

His voice trails off and she knows he's hurting. His promise that she'd never have to feel scared ever again in tatters.

When the medics arrive, they separate them but she manages to keep hold of his hand. As strangers fuss around her, poking at her body, scrambling for apparatus that will help her, she keeps her gaze trained on him. She forces herself to imagine their reflection in that glass window, standing shoulder to shoulder, smiling at each other. She strengthens her grip on him.

And she feels him squeeze her hand back.

She feels the pressure on her side intensify – somebody is pushing their hands hard against her wound.

Her mouth is forced open. She feels tubes. She fights the urge to gag.

She coughs but her throat is blocked now. She heaves in response, the tube lodging into her throat.

And then his hand is gone and she can't hold on any longer.

'Keep that pressure on her', she hears.

'We need to get her to the ER right now!'

'She's got ten minutes before she's in trouble.'

'Quick, we're losing her.'

The last thought she hears in her own head is, 'Harvey's here. I'm going to be okay.'

 _ **To be continued …**_

 _ **(Don't panic. I only do happy endings! Promise!).**_


	2. Chapter 2 - The Wait

**TEN MINUTES TOO LATE**

 **CHAPTER TWO**

 **The Wait**

" _ **THE PRESENT DAY"**_

As soon as the ambulance departed he fell back against the restaurant bar, the world around him contracting, his heartbeat racing in his chest until he was sure he was going to descend into the dark and familiar abyss of despair. He recognised the feeling. He knew every beat of the drum. His head spinning … his pulse surging … his chest constricting …

A glass of water is thrust into his hands, followed by a hushed but strong voice. "Take a drink, take a moment and then get on your feet. We need to get to Mount Sinai."

"I … I … can't …"

Mike takes hold of his elbows, lifting the glass to his mouth. "Yes you can."

"Does anyone know what happened to her?" Robert Zane addresses Harvey – or rather the crumpled ghost of Harvey that is sitting at his feet.

"Looks like she was robbed … outside …" says Mike, refusing to meet his ex-father-in-law-to-be's gaze.

Robert's eyes move over the younger man. The man whose existence continues to be a thorn in his side. "Guess we're calling tonight off. I can't believe this has happened."

"No!" shouts Harvey, his voice strained but steadier. "No, she wouldn't want that. We have to keep going, it's too important."

"Harvey, I don't want to do that," says Robert. "The police are outside talking to witnesses. I'm not continuing with a party after something like this has happened … uhm … shouldn't you be going to the hospital?"

"He's on his way," interjects Mike quickly as he helps Harvey to his feet. Robert rolls his eyes at him, turning his nose in the air, which makes Mike's blood boil. Surely now isn't the time?

"Keep me posted on Donna's condition. Things didn't look … uhm … I mean, just keep me posted."

Harvey lets Mike rush him away from the scene, but he isn't sure how his legs are carrying him. He can't even feel them. He feels numb, his mind filled with thoughts that threaten to make his body collapse in a heap. What if she doesn't make it? How could he go on? Why did it happen? Why did she have to arrive on her own tonight? Why did she have to talk him into this stupid party? What the hell would his world look like without her in it?

Mike calls Ray for him because his brain is suddenly incapable of making his voice work properly, his eyes unable to look away from the trail of blood leading from the restaurant to the sidewalk outside. The journey to the hospital only takes minutes and Harvey's entire body is racked with terror at what news might await him when they get to the E.R.

"They said she had ten minutes, didn't they?"

"Uhm … Who?" replies Mike.

"The paramedics. They said she had ten minutes to get to the E.R. Do you think they got there in time? How long has it taken us so far?"

"I don't know Harvey, but we don't have flashing blue lights and a siren."

"Mike … what if …?"

"Don't say it."

"I have to. I can't …" he feels his friend's hand on his arm – a gentle touch which tells him that he isn't going through this alone. "It didn't look good, Mike. There was so much blood …" he looks at his hands which are still stained red. "Jesus, Mike … Jesus that all happened, didn't it? … Goddamnit. God-fucking-damn it … Why?"

Mike had been trying to stay strong for Harvey, but now he feels his own composure start to shatter. "She'll be okay. She has to be."

They spend the rest of the ride in silence, Harvey looking at his watch as their journey time nudges past ten minutes and steadily onto fifteen. He can feel his heart thudding against his ribcage – his stomach rising into his throat as waves of panic assault his nervous system. And when Ray pulls up outside Mount Sinai he isn't sure if he can get out the car.

Mike notices his hesitation. "She needs you to fight for her."

A simple phrase, which almost breaks the older man's heart in two. Harvey is sure Mike didn't mean it as a direct call to battle, but that was damn well what he was going to use it as. Donna needed him and he wasn't going to let her down.

Unable to shake off the images from the sidewalk outside the restaurant, he expects to see blood line the clinical beige floor of the hospital. He's relieved to see it's clean. He's relieved to hear the squeaky clean sound as his shoe heels hit the tiles under his feet.

He makes a bee-line for the reception which seats a team of eight or so receptionists, throngs of nurses and doctors flitting in and out of the circular walled area. He scans for an opening and plants himself in front of a large black woman who appears to be a composite of Gretchen and Big Bertha from the DA's office – Bertha's age, Gretchen's know-it-all expression and a bucket-load of attitude that matches both of theirs.

He steps forward, Mike behind him and opens his mouth, but nothing comes out.

The woman looks up at him under a fence of false black eyelashes. "Can I help you?"

"My … uhm … my … uhm … my friend was just brought in here … I don't know …"

"Name?"

"What … oh … my name is Specter. Harvey Specter."

"Not your name. Your friend's name." Harvey forgets about making comparisons between this woman and Gretchen or Big Bertha. She evidently has the personality of a potato.

"Donna Paulsen. She was brought in ten minutes ago."

"Take a seat. Someone will be with you when there's news."

The woman's tone of voice is flat and disinterested. Harvey can feel his blood pressure rise.

"I don't think you understand. She was brought in ten minutes ago. She's been stabbed. She's lost a lot of blood. I can't just … I need news on her condition now."

"Take a seat."

"Jesus-fucking-Christ what's the matter with you?" he yells. Then he feels Mike's arms take hold of him, guiding him away from the desk as eyes from all around the E.R. are fixed upon him. "This is Donna, don't you understand? This is Donna," he rambles as he's led away by his friend, unable to grasp why the world isn't jumping at his command.

They sit down on plastic chairs and wait. "Do you know Donna's parents' contact details?" asks Mike.

"Yes, but I'm not going to call them until I know how she is. I don't want to worry them."

Mike isn't sure not ringing them straight away is a good idea, but he can't tell Harvey why. He can't tell him how worried he is. Not yet. He decides to approach the subject again later.

They sit together for a few more moments. Harvey thumbs at the red blood stains on his hands and notices the brighter streaks of red on his white shirt. "I need some air," he says suddenly. "You stay here, come get me if there's news."

He walks outside and stands in the open. He wishes he smoked. He hadn't tasted nicotine since he was sixteen, when he was shoving it into his brother's face, urging him to have a hasty puff too. But right now, in this moment, he convinces himself that he'd be fine if only there were a 'calm-whatever-ails-you' cigarette in his hand.

He leans against a post, his head swimming with 'what if's'. He tries to block them out because how could anybody predict something like this would happen? But he can't block it out. He feels responsible. She's his everything – always has been.

A cab pulls up and a familiar figure gets out. His heart sinks as the man, bleary eyed and devastated, stumbles towards him.

"Harvey," gasps Louis, his voice coarse and broken with shaky breaths.

Harvey looks up at the shorter man – his ex-partner – and fights the urge to tell him to go to hell.

Louis falls back when he notices the blood on Harvey's clothes and his face crumples, tears springing from his eyes and rushing in rivers down the creases of his face. "Is she …?" he asks between sobs which rack his body.

Harvey realises what he's asking and his stomach lurches. "No … there's no word yet … but she's going to be okay. She has to be."

"Harvey, I'm sorry. I was there, you know. At the party. I came … I was late … but I came."

"I don't care Louis. None of that matters. Not now."

Louis breathes a sigh of relief, which Harvey notices, but he's not ready to forgive his ex-partner yet. Not after everything he put them through – put Donna through. He made her life hell and destroyed what should have been the best weeks of their life – the time when they were finally together. He hadn't even had a month with her. He needed more time. The world owed him more time. He feels his anger build as he thinks back to the arguments, the outbursts and the accusations. He didn't blame Louis to begin with. His partner's world had fallen apart after all. But he did blame him for what happened next. There would have been no need for the merger if it hadn't been for Louis Litt and the goddamn stupid fucked-up shit he perpetually embroils his firm in.

They both stand next to each other, their backs resting against the same concrete post.

"Do you know what happened?" asks Louis.

"No, but I'm going to goddamn find out and when I find that bastard … I'm going to kill him."

"The place was crawling with police when I got there," says Louis, tears still flowing freely. He wipes at his face. Harvey passes him his handkerchief. "Thank you." He blows his nose and Harvey grimaces. "Sorry … I'll … uhm … have it dry cleaned."

"Keep it."

He blows his nose again. "When they told me … and I saw the blood … Harvey, what if? … What if she doesn't make it? I don't think I could …"

"She will make it! And don't you dare say that to me again!" He's had enough. He came out for some air. The last thing he needs is to have to spend this gut-wrenching time making Louis Litt feel better.

He starts to walk back to the E.R.

"I'm sorry Harvey," says Louis. "It's just … its Donna … I love her … if anything happened to her ..."

He knows how much Louis cares about Donna, but he screwed up. He hurt her. He irreparably hurt their firm. He wants to yell that if he loved her so much he shouldn't have done what he did, but his mood softens as he takes in his ex-partner's countenance – his face pale and drawn, dark shadows under his eyes, his body crumpled and awkward.

"Come inside and wait with us," he says before turning on his heel and returning to the overcrowded hospital.

When they return Harvey stops dead in his tracks. Three police officers – one in uniform, two in plain clothes – are standing with Mike. Harvey steps forwards without his stomach, which he thinks must have fell out of his throat the second he saw them. "Is there any news?"

"Not yet," says Mike.

A tall, black detective introduces himself as Nick Sawyer, his partner – a Hispanic guy who looks a few years younger than Mike, is Eddie Mendez. "I've arranged for you all to wait in a room – have some privacy," says Sawyer. A female police officer who is with them talks on her radio. A male nurse clad in burgundy overalls shows them to a small side room with three cushioned comfortable seats, a box of tissues on a chipped coffee table, a half-dead pot plant and a painting of a New York tree-lined avenue in the fall hanging (slightly lop-sided) on the wall.

Mike stands at the window, his hands digging deep into the pockets of his tuxedo jacket. Louis and Harvey sit down with Detective Sawyer. Mendez and the blonde officer talk through some notes.

"We want to let you know that we're doing everything we can to find the men who attacked Miss Paulsen," says Sawyer.

"Wait … what? You said 'men'," his heart misses a beat. He thought this had been a robbery gone wrong.

"The doorman at the restaurant, a Jose Alvarez, said he saw Miss Paulsen chase a guy down the street. Another guy dressed in a tux … uhm … grey hair, slightly balding … has been identified as her attacker. Two other associates of yours … uhm … a Tiffany Olson and a Barbara Shaw, have both backed up Mr. Alvarez's statement to varying degrees. We're definitely looking for two guys here."

"What?" His mind is assaulted by possibilities. "Are you telling me she wasn't robbed?"

"I need you to tell me anything she said to you. Leave nothing out. The doorman said she walked from the scene and she was searching for somebody inside the restaurant. He thinks she was looking for help."

Harvey swallows and bites the inside of his cheek. "She was looking for me."

"What's your relationship with the victim?"

He doesn't hesitate. "We're in a relationship. She's my girlfriend." He feels Louis's body deflate in the chair next to him. Mike turns around and smiles faintly. They knew Harvey and Donna were together now … barely together … but it's the first time both of his friends have heard him refer to Donna as officially belonging to him.

"How long have you known her?"

"Thirteen years. I've been in love with her for almost thirteen years." Sawyer smiles sadly at Harvey's emphatic response. Harvey feels a surge of pride. Claiming Donna and making a declaration of love to a complete stranger is something his heart needed to do. He wants to make up for the few short weeks they've had. They should have had longer. Committing to her out loud is a small gesture, but it's helping him.

"Can you run us through what happened inside the restaurant? Did Miss Paulsen say anything about the attack?"

Mike steps forward. "I saw her first. I saw straight away that she was hurt and I yelled across the restaurant for Harvey. Then I went to her. Harvey came a few moments later. He lowered her to the floor because she couldn't stand anymore … she'd lost so much blood and …" Mike draws in a breath, Louis hangs his head, locking his fingers together. All three men's eyes are red-rimmed and glassy. "… I held her hand for a while, then I went to see where the paramedics were. I asked the doorman … uhm … Mr. Alvarez … to apply pressure to her wound. I was worried at how much blood she was losing."

Detective Mendez scribbles into a notebook as Mike talks. The female officer talks into a crackling radio pinned to her collar. She leaves the room to give the two detectives a break from the sound of orders coming in from the police control room.

"When Mike went outside I mostly just tried to keep her awake," said Harvey as he thinks back to how terrified he was that if she lost consciousness she wouldn't wake up again. "We talked about anything, I cracked a joke or two. I was trying to make her laugh because she was petrified … she thought she was going … shit …" his breath hitches in his throat as he breaks down. "She thought she was going to die," he manages to say as his body cries out.

Detective Sawyer waits patiently as Harvey takes a deep breath. Neither Mike nor Louis have ever seen Harvey Specter cry. Mike watches his friend suffer and he feels his own resolve shatter as tears fall from his eyes too.

"I know this is very difficult Mr. Specter," says Sawyer in a soft, compassionate tone. "But did Miss Paulsen say anything … anything at all that could give us a clue about what happened outside that restaurant."

Harvey sniffs and wishes he hadn't given Louis his handkerchief. He briefly considers wiping his nose with the sleeve of his tuxedo jacket, but opts for another sniff instead. "Yeah, she said one thing. She said she shouldn't have chased the guy who stole her bag. That's why I assumed … we all assumed … that this was a robbery that had gone terribly wrong." Sawyer and Mendez share a look between themselves. "What? What is it? You have to tell me."

Sawyer turns back to Harvey, tilting his head as he scans back through the statements in his notebook. "You're a lawyer, right?" Harvey nods his head, his Adam's apple straining against his throat as he swallows hard. "And Miss Paulsen?"

"She's my assistant. Has been for thirteen years. We worked together at the DA's office before moving into corporate work."

The detectives share another look – a secret, quiet, mutual acknowledgement flitting between them. "We believe the man who robbed Miss Paulsen was a decoy and we believe this was a deliberate, pre-meditated attack."

Harvey, Mike and Louis all gasp out in shock. "What do you mean?" asks Mike. Louis starts to cry again, "Oh no, oh no" he repeats in quiet mumbles. Harvey just stares blankly as his brain races through endless reasons and possibilities. Why would anybody try to kill Donna? Was it because of him? Was it anything he'd done? Every muscle in his body starts to ache as his blood pressure soars.

"From what we've been able to gather, one man stole Miss Paulsen's bag in an attempt to draw her away from the restaurant and down the street where the other man was waiting. He was seen talking to her for a minute or two. None of the witnesses thought there was anything suspicious about either of them. None of them knew Miss Paulsen or her assailant. One was the doorman hired for the event. The other two witnesses don't know each other or Miss Paulsen. This was a merger party, right?"

Harvey nods his head as he realises how easy it must have been for the attacker to get under everybody's radar – including Donna's. "Yes, three different teams from three separate organisations were attending."

"Nobody witnessed the stabbing, but Miss Paulsen and her assailant seemed to either know each other, or to be at ease with each other before the attack. None of the witnesses were suspicious. So that brings me onto my next question. Can you think of any reason why somebody would attempt to murder your girlfriend, Mr Specter?"

That word. Murder. Suddenly he can't breathe. His neck throbs against his stiff shirt colour and he can hear his own pulse ringing in his ears. He shakes his head. "No, everybody loves Donna. There's no reason … unless … it was me they were …"

Mike interrupts, "Harvey don't. You can't think … you've got no reason to blame yourself."

"Mr Specter? Is there anything?"

"There could be any one of a million things. Over the years I've put bad people behind bars. I've also got guilty people off. I've ruined businesses, made hostile take-overs happen. You want a list of people who'd want to get to me? How long have you got?"

"Harvey," repeats Mike.

"Mike's right, Harvey," adds Louis. "Don't go down this road. There's no evidence to think this has anything to do with you."

The female officer enters the room again. "Mr. Alvarez has given us an ID of the perp," she says to Sawyer, before passing him an identikit print out of a scanned image. Sawyer looks over the picture. He frowns and raises an eyebrow.

"Let me see, maybe I can ID the guy," asks Harvey eagerly. He hopes with everything he has that he recognises him. Then he hopes he can track him down and beat him a new face.

Sawyer passes Harvey the picture and the bottom falls out of his world. "Oh my god … when?" He stares at the picture, turning it around and back again. Making sure he's seeing what he thinks he's seeing. And then he stands up, walks over to Mike and passes the paper to him.

Mike's hand shoots to his chest and he falls back against the wall. "Harvey … how …?"

"I don't know. I didn't hear anything. Surely Cameron Dennis would have contacted me."

"Do you think it's him? Are you sure? … oh my God … no." Mike runs his hands through his hair as he struggles to process his thoughts. "Why her, Harvey? Why? Why not me …?"

Harvey takes the identikit image from his friend's trembling hands, his eyes clouded with tears as he holds Mike's shoulders, willing him not to break down. Without turning around, he confirms what they know to Detective Sawyer. "This man is Frank Gallo and as far as we were aware, he was inside Danbury prison. We last saw him there about six weeks ago. Mike was in there with him."

Sawyer gives the female police officer a nod and she leaves the room, barking Gallo's name into her radio. "How do you know him?"

"I put him inside. He got thirteen years and he's served nine."

"And this man bears a grudge against you?"

"He has vowed to get revenge."

Sawyer doesn't need to hear another word. "Okay, we're going to check this out. You say he was still serving time?"

"Yes, we extended his sentence so I don't know how he got out."

"And this picture is definitely him."

"Unless he has an evil twin."

"Okay, and does this Frank Gallo know Miss Paulsen?"

"She was working with me when I put him inside, but he doesn't know her. Doubt he ever heard her name. Unless …" He turns to Mike. "Did you ever mention Donna?"

Mike's brow creases into a heavy frown. "I don't think so, Harvey. No. I'm sure I didn't."

"Okay, we're going to check out this story, please give us a few minutes," says Detective Alvarez. Harvey nods his head as he and Mendez leave the tiny waiting room.

Mike takes a seat next to Louis. Harvey sits down beside him on the left. Louis, on the right, comes to the boil.

"I swear to God if this is down to you and Donna dies …"

"What the hell, Louis?" roars Harvey. He feels as guilty as hell, but he isn't going to let Louis Litt shame him. "One of the last things you said to Donna before you relinquished your position as named partner was that she was dead to you. Don't you dare bring this to my door."

"We made up after that."

"Well it was too goddamned late, Louis! Do you know what you put her through over the last few weeks? You never deserved her friendship."

"Me? ME?" growls Louis, his teeth bared. "It's you who doesn't deserve her. I knew something like this would happen the second she let herself get wrapped up in you and your sorry life. You're selfish, you're reckless, you don't give a shit about anybody but yourself. If anything happens to her … it's on YOU!"

Harvey stands, his hands already balled into fists as Louis shrinks against the padded green seat.

"What you going to do now? Hit me? That's just like you too," whines Louis as Mike stands and gets in between the two warring ex-partners. "I lost everything because of you … and if I lose Donna …"

"Shut the hell-up Louis! You lost everything because of yourself. I didn't make you commit a crime, but I did save you from the consequences of it."

"You made me commit a crime when you hired HIM!" roars Louis, undeterred by Harvey's unbridled aggression – his face reddening as the full realisation of what happened to Donna hits him. "This is down to both of you and what you did to get out of the prison you damn well belong inside."

"You belong in prison Louis! I saved your miserable ass, remember?"

Just then the door opens and Harvey spins around expecting to see the detectives, but instead he is faced with a doctor dressed in green overalls, a white clinical cap covering his grey hair and a mask open around his neck. Harvey practically falls back onto his seat as the doctor closes the door. Mike sits back down too, searching the doctor's face for clues about his friend.

"I'm Dr. Kenneth March," says the man as he stands before them, flipping through a clipboard full of notes.

Harvey thinks the clipboard is a good sign. Dr. March isn't smiling, but he doesn't think he is wearing a 'meet-grieving-relatives' face. "Doctor, please … how is she?"

The doctor pulls a stool from the corner of the room and brings it close to the banks of seats where Harvey, Mike and Louis are sitting. "We've operated on Miss Paulsen for the past hour. I'm afraid to say that although the knife missed all of her vital organs, Miss Paulsen lost a lot of blood. Too much blood. By the time she reached us it was maybe ten minutes too late."

Louis breaks down immediately, curling into a ball, his cries echoing around the room. Mike hunches over his knees, silent and in shock. Harvey stares blankly at the doctor, refusing to accept it … he can't accept it. "Are you telling me … she's gone?"

"No, but her condition is critical. She's on full life-support. The degree of blood loss meant her organs had already started to shut down by we got her in theatre. She experienced tachycardia and her heart stopped three times. We got her back and we're pumping her with fluids and transfusing her, but her blood pressure and oxygen levels dropped seriously low. It's possible the tissue damage is irreversible."

Harvey steels himself, the doctor's words dripping into his brain like poison. "What are her chances?" he asks, his voice clawing at his own throat.

"No more than ten percent."

He feels Mike's body collapse next to him, shuddering as he cries into his sleeve.

"She'll make it," he says defiantly. "She'll beat the odds. This is Donna."

The doctor smiles uneasily, his eyes betraying his diminished hope for his patient. "We're doing everything we can for her," he says as he places his arm on Harvey's shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze before turning around and leaving the room.

As soon as they're alone, Harvey turns to his friends. "We can't fall now. Mike, Louis, come on. We have to think positive. That doctor doesn't know what we know. He doesn't know Donna."

Louis tries to pull himself together, but it's no use. He allows his despair to overwhelm him. He heard the odds. He heard what the doctor said and all he can think about is how much he's going to miss her. How unfair it is. How could somebody do this to her … didn't that bastard – that Frank Gallo – know how much they all needed her.

Mike is more pragmatic. His eyes are red-raw from crying, but he manages to calm every part of his body apart from his trembling lower lip. "You heard what he said. Harvey, I'm so sorry. If she dies I'll never forgive myself."

"No, stop, we're not doing this. Do you want to know why I fell in love with Donna? You want me to tell you? Do I need to? Can you imagine her giving up on me? You heard what she said … her heart … they brought her back three times. She's fighting this. She won't let go … she won't leave me …" He falls back in his seat, resting his head against the wall. "Oh God," he mumbles, his voice a whisper. His brain may be defiant, but his heart is breaking.

"Oh God, I can't live without her."

X X X

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **Don't hate me for this! I'm just seeing how far I can push the emotions as we don't get a great deal of tragedy in Suits, do we?. A few people have written begging me for more "Donna in danger" stories, so this is the first of a few ideas I have.**

 **Stick with me, give me your thoughts by reviewing and in return I'll keep my HAPPY ENDING PROMISE!**

 **Always a happy ending … ALWAYS!**


	3. Chapter 3 - The Second Time

**This chapter only is probably an "M" rating. If you're not keen on raunchiness, scroll through to the end! For those who like the sexy bits … I hope you enjoy! Wink, wink … ;)**

X X X

 **TEN MINUTES TOO LATE**

 **CHAPTER THREE**

 **The Second Time**

" _ **FOUR WEEKS AGO"**_

 _Her heart skipped a beat when she felt his fingers slide against hers._

 _She could tell from the tilt of his head, the spark in his eyes and the way he was holding his gaze at her reflection. But most of all she could tell from his tone of his voice. Something had changed in him._

" _No"._

 _Just one word. A hundred layers of meanings locked inside it._

 _They stood there for a few minutes, neither one of them knowing what to say, but both of them using sight and touch to convey more than sound ever could: their reflections in the window, the feel of each other's warm skin and the strength of their hold._

 _He breaks away first and she still doesn't know what to say. Why is that? She's frustrated. She always knows what to say._

" _So, I guess this is a new beginning," he says with a smile as he walks to his cabinet and pours them both a drink of scotch._

 _Still a little bit in shock, Donna turns around and rests against the window ledge. "Yeah, that's exactly what it is," she replies breathily, her heartrate slowing._

 _He walks towards her and hands her the drink. She raises her arm to take it, but when the glass is in her hand, he is still holding it tight. She laughs, but he doesn't. His eyes lock onto her eyes as his fingers wrap around hers, gently caressing her knuckles and she feels as if her heart might explode._

" _Harvey, what's happening here?" she asks, raising her chin and meeting his gaze._

 _His smile grows wider. "New beginnings … I think."_

" _Harvey …" she's starting to feel self-conscious now. Uncomfortable. Her stomach groans and she feels a familiar pang of anxiety rise into her chest. If this continues he's going to shit the bed and run away. She'll get mad, she'll get frustrated, they'll fight, she'll leave him for Louis or worse._

" _I don't know what I'm doing, but I know this feels right," he says as his gaze intensifies._

" _Harvey," she repeats again. Her voice more forthright. "Why now?"_

 _He leaves go of her and the glass, his cheeks dimpling as the last remnants of his smile fade. She watches him turn away from her and take a seat on his sofa. She doesn't hesitate to join him, tucking her black floral dress underneath her as she sits down. His eyes are trained on his glass as he swirls the pungent amber liquid around it. She reaches out and places her hand on his, making him stop. "Harvey, talk to me," she asks – her plea making him draw in a breath._

" _It's been a hell of a few months," he says without looking up from his drink. He takes a sip and she notices there's a slight tremble to his wrist as he places the glass down on the coffee table in front of him._

" _It has," she replies briefly. She makes it brief because he knows that's not what she wants him to talk to her about._

" _I've been pretty wound-up you know. What with Mike's trial and him going to prison, then all that stuff with Gallo and Cahill and … now this. One thing after another, but no matter how bad things get for me I know you'll always be there."_

 _He turns to look at her then, his eyes looking at her 'differently'. She remembers an echo: '_ _ **With you it's different**_ _.' And it's like a ghost from that night – almost a year ago – haunting the scene. She feels a shiver down her spine. "Yes Harvey, that's my job."_

" _Being my secretary is your job, Donna, but you've never been just that."_

" _No. That's because I'm not like every other secretary, I'm …"_

" _You're Donna," he says finishing her sentence for her. She smiles, but he doesn't this time. "And I want you to know that you're everything to me."_

 _Words fail her again. She stares blankly at him waiting … wondering …_

 _Harvey takes another gulp of scotch. "It's late. Maybe we should be getting home."_

 _She sighs and looks out over the city skyline view through the window, shaking her head because she can't believe she's here again. In exactly the same position as before. Nothing ever changes and she's tired of it. She turns back to him, her blood pressure building and her jaw tense. "Harvey, you're not going anywhere. You're going to sit right there with a goddamn scotch if you need it, but we're having this conversation and we're having it now."_

 _His face pales. "Okay …" he says nervously._

" _Okay," she says defiantly. "Let's start with what happened a year ago. Do you need me to ask you the same question again? Love me how?"_

 _He gulps. "Shit."_

" _Shit?"_

" _Sorry … it's just … way to get straight to the point."_

" _Saves time. As you said, it's late."_

 _The corners of his mouth turn up, dimpling his cheeks slightly. "When I told you I loved you I meant it, but … I hadn't planned to say it."_

" _That was obvious."_

" _But it doesn't make what I said any less true. I do love you Donna … you're … you're my best friend, the one person in my life who truly gets me and doesn't want to change me … and … I was scared then and I'm scared now …"_

 _Donna's body stiffens. She knew fear was what he was running from but hearing him admit it is something else. "What are you scared of?"_

 _He looks into her eyes, his brow slightly furrowed. "Of letting you down."_

 _She feels his intensity burn her skin and she takes another sip of scotch. "You did let me down, Harvey. You wouldn't talk to me. You closed the book and threw on a padlock. And now … you're doing it again. What's going to happen tomorrow, Harvey? Say we both finish our drinks and go home, what's going to happen when I come into your office and ask you why you reached out to me? Why did you hold my hand, Harvey? Why are you doing this again?"_

" _Because I love you!" he shouts suddenly and she falls back startled. "I … look … you know I've had therapy. I know why I do this … and I know why I ran all those months ago. It's hard, but I can get there … if you help me."_

 _She sits forward, resting her arms on her knees. Thinking. Blocking out the pain – the heartache – the frustration and trying her level best to understand him. "What do you want, Harvey?" She asks the question and her body freezes … waiting … if he runs, that has to be it. She can't go back, she won't …_

" _I want to be with you." His voice is low, almost a mumble, but his determination is unmistakeable. "I want there to be an 'us' and if you want to try too, then we should … uhm … do it, I guess … I mean, just try," he winces as his words jumble. "God, Donna I'm being honest here, and it may not look like it given the crap that's coming out of my mouth, but … I'm trying to tell you I love you and I want to be with you, but I don't know if that's going to be good enough for you … or for me. I've never done this before."_

 _She raises her eyebrows. "You've never come onto a woman before?" she says sarcastically, her voice laced with humour._

 _He gulps and looks back to the scotch. Swirling again, every lap of the glass beating in rhythm with her heart. "No, I've never been in love before."_

 _It's as if the earth stops for a moment and she's pleased because if it hadn't, she might have spun off into orbit. "What …?" she says in a gasp, her hand instinctively falling to her chest. He looks at her with panic flashing in his eyes and she thinks all that's missing is a siren and a robotic voice in the background calling, 'abort mission, abort mission.'_

 _He puts down his glass and reaches for her hand. She knows she's shaking and she feels awkward because of that, but when he holds her tightly, giving her a gentle and reassuring squeeze, she feels herself melt into him. "It's only ever been you, Donna. You're the only person I've ever felt this way about. You asked me, that time, if I was capable of seeing you in a different way. Truth is I always saw you in a different way, I just didn't want to admit it to myself because I never felt like I should … I thought I'd screw it up – lose you – don't you see? For all those years I'd rather have you through that glass wall, at your desk, metres away from me as my best friend, than try to have a relationship with you and run the risk of losing you forever."_

" _Because you can never go back."_

" _What?"_

" _Hmm? … Oh, it's just something I said once. When somebody asked me why you and I had never … uhm … you know?"_

" _But we did 'you know'."_

" _Yes, I lied, but that's not the point. I said the reason we never tried to have a relationship was because you can never go back. Once we cross the line … Harvey, listen to me …" She grips his hands in hers, covering them protectively. "If we cross the line, we can't ever go back to the way things were before."_

" _I know that."_

" _I'm not sure you do, Harvey. Not really. I remember what you said to me just before I left you to go work for Louis: 'We have everything.' That told me you're pretty happy with our relationship the way it is."_

 _He shakes his head emphatically. "No, no. That was before. I've just explained … that was when I was afraid. Before I'd sorted it out in my head. Before therapy."_

 _She knows him too well. Harvey Specter can be impulsive, but not this impulsive. She lets go of his hands to stand up. He rises to meet her, his face etched with concern. "Take some time to think, Harvey. Tonight – with Jessica leaving – well, it's been a shock to the system."_

" _I've had twelve goddamn years to think about this," he says with a snap in his voiceF._

 _She tilts her head to the side, her eyes wide and admonishing. "I'll see you tomorrow, Harvey."_

 _He watches her go and he wonders what he did wrong._

 _He wonders all night._

 _Then the next morning when she walks onto the floor, as she always does, and brings him his coffee, as she always does, he's sitting at his desk. She's wondering if there'll be a back-track. She wonders if her plea that he takes some time to think will have flung him headlong into a whirling cyclone of despair and regret._

 _She acts like normal, running through his calendar, talking about the Hobart meeting she's rearranged for Thursday. He doesn't take his eyes off her and she feels them travel across her face, settling on her lips. She feels uneasy – like she should talk about last night – but she doesn't. She makes small talk, comments about him needing to talk to Louis about the new set-up of the firm. Then she smiles and turns around to head to her cubicle._

" _Donna," he calls after her._

 _She spins around, her stomach fluttering with butterflies. "Yes, Harvey."_

" _Will you have dinner with me tonight?"_

" _Uhm … like a date?"_

" _Yeah, of course, a date."_

" _You mean a date-date, not a friend-date, or a work-date?"_

 _He grins. "I mean a date with a guy who wants to show you how much he loves you."_

 _Her mouth transforms into a grin she can't suppress. "Okay Harvey. You can take me out."_

 _X X X_

 _That night he takes her to one of his favourite bistros on the Upper East Side. He orders a steak, medium rare, and she orders a strange, creamy chicken dish that she eats from underneath the thick sauce._

" _Sorry about your dinner," he says with his cheek full of steak._

" _It's fine," she lies and takes a large sip of wine, running her tongue around the inside of her mouth to wash away the taste of the eggy-cheese sauce._

" _You should send it back."_

" _Harvey," she says with a smile as she reaches over her plate and steals one of his fries. "I said it's fine."_

 _After dinner they have drinks in the restaurant bar, taking a seat in a corner under a fake tree lit with fairy lights and glittery butterflies. She finds that appropriate given the state of her stomach._

" _So, here's to our first date-date," says Harvey as he raises his glass and clinks it against hers. She takes a drink and then clears her throat, her eyes darting nervously across the room. "You okay?"_

" _Hmm? Oh, yes. I'm … uhm … well this is all a bit strange I guess."_

" _I'm sorry, maybe I should have cooked for you at my place instead."_

 _She leans forward with a glint in her eye. "That wouldn't have been any less strange."_

 _He laughs back. "No, I guess it wouldn't."_

 _An awkward silence takes hold of both of them for a few moments. Words – unsaid – hanging in the air around them like a thundercloud. She wonders if she should make it rain. "Well, Harvey. It's been a lovely night, but it's getting late. We should do it again …"_

" _Come back to my place."_

" _What?!"_

" _I don't mean like that. Well … not unless … shit …" he pokes his tongue in his cheek and sub-consciously kicks his own ass. "Look, I just mean I don't want you to go yet."_

" _Harvey," she says with caution, but the slight shake in her voice betrays her true feelings. She changes tack. She nudges closer to him on the plush black seat and rests her hand on his knee, feeling the heat of his body immediately. "It's been a lovely night, thank you."_

 _He doesn't miss the beat. His hands swoop to push a few strands of hair from her face. She turns her cheek nudging his thumb. "I love you," he says again and it feels like it's the hundredth time he's said it now._

 _But for her, it may as well be the first as her body pricks with goosebumps. "I love you too," she says as she allows herself to fall into him, her hands moving over his body, sinking underneath his jacket as she raises her chin to his._

 _And he meets her with his mouth. Kissing softly at first, his skin brushing lightly over hers. He tastes of scotch with a hint of steak, but she wants more. She parts her lips eagerly as she feels his hands moving through her hair, pulling her closer until she can't stand it anymore and she sinks her tongue into his mouth, tasting and exploring him. He meets her ravenous kisses with more of his own, moving from her mouth to her neck and then back to that spot under her ear which – somehow – after all of these years he recalls sends her wild._

" _Oh … god … Harvey," she moans in raspy pants as his body presses against hers, one of his hands holding her back while the other slips into her hair, twisting a copper lock from behind her ear around his fingers._

" _I love your hair," he says as his hand gets lost in gold. His other hand moves forward to her hip, then rests on her thigh, his fingers groping at the material of her dress. "We should go," he pants in her ear._

" _We should," she agrees as she throws her head back giving him full access to her neck._

" _We … should … go … now," he says between kisses._

" _Uh-hum …" she moans softly into his mouth as their lips meet again._

 _He starts to laugh. "I mean … we should go … to my place … now."_

" _I know," she replies._

 _He breaks off. "You sure?"_

 _Her lips curl. "I'm sure."_

 _X X X_

 _The short taxi ride to Harvey's penthouse apartment is pure torture as they both sit as far apart as possible wondering what the hell they're doing, but thinking about nothing but sex. As they get near to his place she feels his hand grab for hers and his touch sends a raging pulse shooting down to her vulva, settling in a dull throb. He kisses her when they're out of the cab. He kisses her when he opens the door, saying 'hi' briefly to the security guy who grins back at both of them with a look that says 'finally'._

 _As soon as the elevator doors close he turns and claims her, pushing her against the metal walls, taking her mouth and running his hands hungrily up her legs. She starts to undo the buttons on his shirt, eager to feel his skin. He groans into her mouth when his fingers find the tops of her stockings, "Jesus … Donna …" he pants as his fingertips skirt the lace which hugs at her thighs. He pushes his hands higher, smoothing over her hips and then cupping her ass. He lifts her off the floor – her back pressed up against the elevator wall – and she wraps her legs around him, digging her heels into his body for balance._

 _His tongue tastes every inch of exposed skin he can find: her mouth, her neck, her chest – and then he tastes the freckled skin between her breasts remembering how she tasted differently all those years ago: whipped cream, cherries and sparkling wine._

 _When the elevator pings their arrival at the top floor of his building, he carries her the few short steps to his penthouse, their mouths don't separate – even when he fumbles for his keys, unlocks the door and carries her to his bedroom, lying her down carefully on the bed._

 _He stands over her letting his jacket fall to the floor, followed by his opened shirt. Then he kicks off his shoes and practically leaps over her body to join her on the bed. She turns over on her elbow, trailing her fingers down his arm as he studies her face for a moment, his eyes suddenly glassy. "Are you sure about this?" he asks again. He can't remember asking any other woman that question while they were lying on his bed, but with her it's different. Everything about her is different._

 _She gives her answer with another kiss, her fingers gliding through his hair, pulling him closer towards her. "I'm sure," she whispers against his mouth._

 _He hears two clunks as she kicks her heels onto the floor, then she reaches under her arm and pulls down the side zip of her dress. He swallows hard as he sees a flash of white porcelain appear from underneath black chiffon and he immediately reaches under her dress to touch her. She feels soft and fragile, and he tells himself he'll do anything to protect her and keep her safe._

 _He pulls her to a sitting position so that he can take off her dress, attempting to push it down over her shoulders, but it won't budge. She laughs as frustrated furrows manifest in his brow and she pulls the garment over her head. His mouth falls open as he watches the mini-striptease, unable to take his eyes off the see-through, black net bra and matching panties which leaves nothing to the imagination – a lilac bow settling at her cleavage and another under her bellybutton._

 _She laughs as he stares. "Come on, Specter. Don't tell me you haven't seen ladies' underwear before."_

" _Not on you, I haven't," he says. "You're so beautiful." He runs his fingers over her bra, feeling the net smooth under his fingertips, enjoying the gentle rise of her nipples under the sheer fabric. She moans when he touches her there and his heartrate surges in response. She lies back down and he clicks open the small straps which are holding her stockings up, letting his fingers delve between her thighs as he rolls the soft nylon down her alabaster legs. He takes his time, enjoying the sounds she makes when he touches the insides of her legs. Once done he trails kisses from her toes to her knees, moving between her legs to run his tongue up her thighs and kiss through the sheer fabric of her panties._

 _Harvey feels his trousers strain as his desire grows. He brings his head level with Donna's and then she surprises him, flipping him over so that he's on his back. She sees an expectant grin flash over his face as she reaches behind her back to unhook her bra, then she leans forward and he cups her breasts, thumbing her nipples until she moans and shivers under his touch._

 _She can feel his hardness under her as she settles in his lap, enjoying the groaning noises he makes into her neck as she rocks forwards on him. "Oh … god … Donna," he whispers through laboured, panting breaths, the tightness in his crotch suddenly becoming uncomfortable. He fumbles with his buttons, but she takes over, moving his hands out of the way. She unloosens his belt and pushes his pants and underwear down over his legs. He sighs as her hands graze the full length of his cock, circling the tip with her fingernails before moving his clothing down over his knees and ankles._

 _Donna repositions herself over his naked body, just a tiny expanse of black net underwear between them. She groans as she feels his eagerness nestle between her legs. "Do you have protection …?" she asks, hoping he does and hoping that it's close by._

" _Top drawer," he whispers and she scoots over to the table at his side of the bed. It only takes a moment to find the small, foil-wrapped condom and as she opens it she notices the wide-open scene from his floor-to-ceiling windows for the first time. She hasn't been in his bedroom before and being almost naked in full view of the Manhattan skyline is slightly alarming, yet at the same time, unbelievably exciting._

 _Donna discards the foil wrapper and passes Harvey the condom which he puts on carefully. When done, she moves towards him again, but he stops her, turning her on her back. "I like it like this," he says with a thick tone to his voice. "I want to take my time."_

 _She smiles at him and he starts laying kisses on her again, wanting to touch his tongue to every inch of her body. She squirms under him as he laps between her breasts, stopping briefly to tug at her nipples, pinching her hard, erect skin with his teeth so that she draws in a sharp breath. He looks into her eyes as he licks further down her body, dipping into her navel, linking her freckles together with his tongue before settling between her legs and slowly peeling her underwear from her body. There's a short, neat, flash of gold which sets his pulse racing before he sinks into her wetness, tasting how ready she is for him._

 _Donna bites down on her lip, her toes spreading as ripples of energy spread through her body. Her cheeks burn as he finds her clit and rolls his tongue around, pressing inside her with his fingers until her breathing becomes rapid and uncontrolled. She feels a familiar sensation build in her vulva, an electric current buzzing from her centre and surging in waves to every nerve in her body. She screams out his name. She roars as her body raptures into violent shudders. And it feels different. The connection is stronger than it has been with any man she has made love to before. Except, maybe, that one time twelve years ago._

 _And she wants more._

 _She locks her fingers through his hair and guides him to meet her. She kisses him, tasting herself on his tongue as their bodies, hot and sticky with sweat, press against each other._

" _God I want you so much," he says as he runs his hands up her body, positioning himself between her thighs. "Are you okay?" he whispers as his tip nudges against her opening._

 _She responds by grabbing his ass and pushing him inside her. "Just fuck me," she growls and he almost loses his mind as he feels her walls close in around him. Her heat and her wetness is tantalising as he thrusts slowly into her. He wants to remember this night. He wants to remember how she sounds, how she feels, but mostly how she looks: her red hair splayed on his white cotton pillow, her eyes dark with yearning, the curl of her lips reddened through the force of their kissing and the paleness of her skin contrasting against his olive shade as he holds her close. He looks into her eyes as he pushes into her, the sensations building to a climax quicker than he'd like, but he can't hold on any longer. He makes one last plunge into her body, the intensity knocking the air out of him, then he drops beside her, wrapping his arms protectively around her until their heartrates slow and their temperatures return to normal._

 _They don't move for several minutes, taking the time to relish the moment they've just shared. Knowing that there's an exciting, yet terrifying future ahead of them._

" _Donna, how are you feeling?" he asks in a hushed tone._

 _She looks up from his chest. "I feel pretty good. That was …"_

" _Awesome. I know," he interrupts with a smirk. She pokes him gently in the ribs._

" _You were okay I suppose," she jokes back._

 _He laughs and hugs her tighter, enjoying the feel of her soft hair against his chest. He reaches behind her ear and curls his favourite lock of hair around his fingers again. "Will you stay tonight?" he asks._

" _Uhm … yeah, sure," she replies, wrapping her legs around his._

" _And tomorrow?"_

" _I guess," she says with a laugh. "But we will have to go to work at some point."_

" _I don't think I can. I'm going to be thinking about you all day."_

" _I'll be there – next to you – all day."_

 _He grins. "Donna?"_

" _Hmm."_

" _Promise you'll never leave me."_

 _She sighs and snuggles in closer. "I can't promise that Harvey. My happiness depends on you."_

 _She feels his body stiffen underneath her, then he kisses the top of her head. "And I depend on you helping me do this relationship stuff. You have to tell me when I'm being a dick."_

" _I do that already. Most days."_

 _He giggles. "I know, but from now on I need you to tell me how to stop being a dick."_

" _I do that too. You just have to listen, remember I'm always right and … well, you'll soon learn."_

 _He grins and kisses her again. He knows he's never going to win an argument with her. Ever. "I love you," he says as he lets go of the piece of her hair he's been coiling around his fingers, letting it fall in a ringlet onto her chest._

 _She looks up at him. "I love you too, Harvey."_

X X X

" _ **PRESENT DAY"**_

He jerks forward suddenly, his body heaving as the beautiful daydream that had sent him into a half-sleep ends.

Louis is fast asleep on the floor, curled up into a ball. Mike is sitting on the opposite end of the green padded hospital seat, his head resting against the wall. He's staring blankly into the room, but his eyes are open and alert.

His stomach burns as his brain slowly wakes up to where he is.

"Mike … how long … shit … how did I fall asleep? Is there any news?"

Mike turns to face his friend, dark circles clawing at his reddened eyes. "No, there's no news, Harvey. They're hoping she makes it through the night …" his voice breaks and his friend's pain catches in a lump in his own throat. "If she makes it to morning, then 24 hours, her chances will improve."

"Jesus, I feel like I'm in an alternate universe. How the hell did this happen? She's so fucking alive, but now her entire life has been reduced to odds and chances." He feels his chest constrict as his grief overwhelms him. "She has to make it. She has to."

"I know, Harvey, and she will."

"I can't go on without her. I don't want to … Jesus, Mike … what would my world be like without her in it?"

"I can't imagine … she's like … she's like a sister to me, you know?" A tear rolls down Mike's face. "You need to call her parents, Harvey."

He had been resisting making the call for the last few hours, because he wanted to tell them some good news alongside the bad, but now he knew Mike was right. They needed to know and they should be here. He nods his head and pulls his cell phone from his pocket, scrolling through his address book for Jim and Gloria Paulsen's number.

Then, he leaves the room to make what he knows will be the worst telephone call of his entire life.


	4. Chapter 4 - The Trouble with Louis

**Sorry about the lateness. Christmas happened Goddamnit ! :D**

 **Oh and another M rating for this chapter. Skip over if you're still not feeling the raunch, lol. x**

X X X

 **TEN MINUTES TOO LATE**

 **CHAPTER FOUR**

 **The Trouble with Louis**

" _ **PRESENT DAY"**_

Harvey stares through the glass window of the hospital door, his hand frozen to the handle. He can't move.

His eyes cloud with water and his chest tightens. All he can hear is his own pulse thudding and swishing in his ears. The pain is unbearable. A real physical pain which makes his blood thunder around his body and his legs tremble beneath him as if the bones of his limbs are disintegrating.

"You can go in and sit with her," says the voice of a Latina nurse – a large woman with huge dark eyes that were permanently embedded with sympathy. And what was up with her tone? The softness isn't soothing, in fact it gnaws at the back of his brain … it grates … it is too well rehearsed, too insincere, too scripted. How many times has she watched this same scene unfold? How many other men has she comforted while their lover lay fighting for their life … shit … why? Why was he here? How? This is Donna for Christ's sake. She's invincible. She is …

Harvey removes his hand from the door handle and takes a step back, the lump in his throat jarring as his impulse to swallow fights against the rise of panic that is building in his gut.

"Sir, are you okay?" asks the nurse as he falls back against the hallway wall, his breath rattling in his chest as his heartrate quickens. "Sir?"

His vision blurs. The nurse's royal blue overalls mixing with the chipped lilac of the painted wall they are standing against. He looks to the ceiling, focusing on something … anything … that might take his mind off the panic and get him through that door. He starts counting the ceiling tiles … they're pale and rubbery, marked with age and the brown stained aftermath of a water pipe leak. He puts his hand to his chest, feeling it rise and fall against his palm. 'Concentrate, focus, she needs you', he says to himself.

It takes a few moments for Harvey to pull himself together – the nurse waiting patiently by his side. "I'm okay," he croaks out in a whisper. "I suffer from panic attacks … but I'm okay …" The nurse's dark eyes grow wider and her sympathy overwhelms him in a rush of emotion. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. She'll be fine. She's Donna … she doesn't get ill, do you know that? Never. I've known her over a decade and she hasn't had anything other than a cold. She's strong … she's the toughest person I know … she's … she can't …"

The nurse places her hand on his arm as he falters. "It's been twelve hours. She's in a stable condition now. She's fighting."

Harvey feels a swell of pride as he imagines her battling with everything she has. He knows she isn't going to let this beat her. He knows she'll be giving her all to get back to him. She may be unconscious, but he knows she'll still be fighting. She'll wake up. He knows she will. She has to.

But then his pride morphs into a swirl of regret that threatens to sink his stomach, rocketing bile into his throat. He thinks about all the wasted years. All that time he couldn't see what was standing right in front of him. Years of her being perfect. Absolutely, unbelievably perfect … while he was a dick. She was brave, he was a coward. She deserved so much more and if … no, _**when**_ … she got through this he was damn well going to make sure she got everything she wanted. Everything.

He was going to start giving her what she deserved now. Right now. So, he steels himself, sucks in a lungful of air and moves towards the door. Then he grips the handle tight and pushes it open.

His focus goes straight to her and he almost crashes to the floor. He moves to her side, her face is almost completely hidden by tubes that feed into machines and back again, several different beeping noises marking her body's status and progress. Her face – still so beautiful – is pale. He feels like that air gets knocked from his lungs because he wasn't expecting that. He didn't think she'd look so cold, so lifeless …

He stumbles into a chair, his body slumping awkwardly like he has the weight of the entire planet on his shoulders. *beep, beep, beep*. His heartrate seems to sync with the machines and suddenly he's disorientated, his mind floating, his thoughts repeating the same questions – 'how did this happen?', 'why did I let her arrive alone?', 'why her?'

Harvey reaches forward to take her hand, ignoring the cannula, wires and tape protruding from her bruised skin. He breathes a sigh of relief when he feels warmth. He expected cold – more lifelessness – but as his hand closes around hers he almost convinces herself that she's warmer than he is.

Suddenly he's aware of other people in the room – the nurse has followed him and another nurse – a tall black guy with a maddeningly ridiculous soul patch stuck to his chin – is working away in the background. The woman, leafs through the notes on a flipchart while the man takes down readings from the life support machine.

"How is she?" Harvey says quickly and quietly, his stomach burning with dread and anticipation.

"No change," replies the male nurse.

Harvey turns back to Donna and grips her hand tighter. "Come on, Donna. You can do this," he says, his teeth gritted to stop his tears from falling. He brushes his other hand through her hair, which seems duller and less shiny. A tear escapes when he finds his favourite lock – the one behind her ear – and he starts to curl it around his fingers. "You can't leave me. Promise you won't ever … leave …"

" _ **THREE WEEKS AGO"**_

" _You won't ever leave me, will you?"_

 _Donna lifts her head from Harvey's chest and looks up into his eyes. A small smile tugs at the left corner of her mouth as her gaze seeks out his insecurity. "Harvey. I've been by your side for almost thirteen years. If I was going to leave you, I'd have done it by now."_

" _You did do it. Once."_

 _She pulls up her elbow and rests her head on her wrist. "And I came back."_

" _Promise me you won't leave me again, though."_

 _Donna sighs, her fingers caressing light circles onto his bare chest. "Harvey, I've told you before. That depends upon you. I can't promise."_

 _His body stiffens and he looks to the ceiling. She stops touching him, her head falling back onto the pillows and he sighs softly. "We'll get married one day, you know?" He senses her sudden return to a half-sitting position, resting her head on her elbow again, and he starts to giggle._

" _Harvey, if that was a proposal, I can tell you … I've had better …"_

 _He turns back to look at her and squints. "It wasn't … it's just … I know we'll get married."_

" _You know? Since when did you know stuff?"_

" _Ah, I see what's going on here. You're Donna, right? Crisis of faith – call the cavalry – How did Donna not know she'd marry Harvey when Harvey knew?"_

 _Donna's raises her eyes as high as they will go. "Seriously?"_

 _His eyes twinkle with humour. "Yes, seriously. I think you've lost all your powers … or … wait a minute … maybe I've assimilated them."_

" _Bullshit," she says as she returns her head to his chest. "I still have all my Donna powers," she purrs as she kisses his torso, her hand snaking under the white cotton sheets._

" _Mmm … shit … okay," moans Harvey as Donna's head disappears under the sheets._

 _X X X_

 _They never officially 'became' an item. Things just progressed from office to bedroom – every night – repeatedly – for a week. They never officially decided to keep their progression a secret from their 'family' back at Pearson Specter Litt. It just happened that way. Awarding themselves privacy to embark on this strange new adventure was what they deserved._

 _One week after the second time, Harvey took Donna out for dinner, choosing an Italian in Greenwich that served log fire baked pizza on checked tablecloths. It wasn't five star, but it was cool, retro and intimate._

 _Following dessert, Donna's gaze shifts – for the hundredth time – to a couple seated three tables away from them._

" _Okay, I'm calling it … what gives?"_

" _Hmm?"_

" _You've been distracted all evening." Harvey shoots a glance over his right shoulder. "Who are they?"_

 _Donna's mouth makes an 'O'. "I'm not one hundred percent."_

 _Harvey's brow furrows. "Okay … who do you think they are then?"_

 _Donna looks over again, her eyes meeting with the woman's. She quickly averts her gaze and leans over the table to Harvey. "Don't look over whatever you do … but I think that's Tara."_

" _Who?"_

" _Tara … you know … Louis's Tara."_

 _He looks over his shoulder and she nips his hand. "Argh! What the hell …?"_

" _I said don't look!"_

" _You've been looking all night!"_

" _They're in my line of vision, not yours, you idiot."_

 _He grimaces. "Why don't you go say 'hi', and ask her if she's this Tara then?" he says as he rubs his hand, frowning at his reddened, pinched skin. "And if she is Louis's Tara … I gotta hand it to the guy. He must be packing some heat to pull a woman who looks like that …"_

 _Harvey's chuckle fades when he sees the look on Donna's face. "Are you kidding me?"_

 _He shrugs his shoulders. "What? Come on, be honest. She's so far out of Louis's league they're playing in different states."_

" _Harvey Specter I've always known you were a dick, but sometimes your shallowness astounds me. Maybe Tara sees Louis's kind heart. Maybe she appreciates his devotion to her. Maybe she's impressed that he fell in love with her at first sight and that he told her in considerably less time than … ooh … let me think … twelve years?" His face falls and she bites her lip when she realises she might have gone too far. "Look, all I'm saying is there's a lot to love about Louis."_

 _He nods uncomfortably and starts playing with the stem of his wine glass. "I'm sorry … just having a bit of fun … Mike would get it. Anyway, haven't you met her before?"_

" _No, but Louis has her photograph on his desk. Bumped me as Ophelia in High School out of the way to make room for her, and she sure does look like that photograph."_

 _Harvey shrugs. "So? It's not like you're shy … go over and talk to her." Donna sighs and her eyes fall to the table. Harvey notices she's twisting her mouth in that way she does when she has more on her mind than what she's letting on. "What is it?" he asks in a whisper._

" _Who do you think she's with?"_

 _He shrugs his shoulders again. "How should I know? I'm not allowed to turn around, remember. Would I know if I turned around?"_

" _No … okay … so, I've been watching and …" she dips her head and half covers he mouth, telling him she's venturing into gossip territory. "They've been holding hands … and … she's had a half-share of two bottles of wine."_

" _Does she have a brother, a friend, a cousin she likes to have over at Christmas, but then looks forward to him leaving?" Donna twists her mouth into a pout to stifle her grin at a line she spun him a couple of years ago. "And she's having wine because she's eating."_

" _Okay, listen to the words that are coming out of my mouth," she says in a tone which tells him he's missed something major. "She's having dinner … with a man … and drinking alcohol …"_

" _And so are we … because this is a restaurant … and this conversation is weird."_

 _Donna shakes her head at him. "Do I have to spell it out?"_

" _Uhm … that might help …"_

 _Donna leans in closer again, her chest resting on the table giving Harvey an eyeful. "She's pregnant," she says out of the corner of her mouth._

" _Oh," says Harvey as it hits him. Then he shrugs. "Well maybe she's not into her health very much."_

" _Trust me. A pregnant woman beloved by pregnancy-vitamin-obsessed-Louis wouldn't be drinking that much wine." There are some stirrings behind them and Donna suddenly shoots to her feet. "Right, I'm going to ask her," she declares as she tosses her napkin down on the table, following the Tara-look-a-like to the bathroom._

 _Harvey puts his head in his hands, immediately expecting the worst._

 _X X X_

 _The dark haired woman eyes Donna in the bathroom as she dries her hands. Donna smiles, then sides up next to her and goes straight for the jugular. "Excuse me, but are you Tara Messer?" she asks in her absolute best British accent._

 _The woman's expression shifts. "Uhm … yes, I am … and you are?"_

" _Penelope Carruthers … I looked at your company once for some work I needed doing on my … uhm … beach house."_

 _Tara offers a vague expression. "Really? I can't remember …"_

" _Can't you? Oh, that's a shame. We shelved the project, but I was looking to start it up again." Donna scrutinises Tara's expression and she senses she's losing her. She wills her brain to work quicker, draws in a breath and off she goes again: "Sorry, for staring at dinner. It took me a while to place you and when I did, I realised I needed to get to work on that blasted house again. Things have been … so … uhm … so …" Donna engages fake cry style 4: bereaved woman with a sizeable dollop of scorn, "I'm sorry, it's just since Bartholomew passed away … I can't seem to …" She turns away and cries into her sleeve._

" _I'm … so sorry … was Bartholomew your husband, was it recent?" asks Tara._

" _No, he was my cockapoo, but he was part of the family and I still miss him so much … then that same week my absolute bastard of a husband left me for some perma-tanned twenty-something hair stylist half my age. The house is my divorce settlement."_

 _Tara exudes 'uncomfortable'. "Oh I'm sorry," she says. "You seem to have moved on though," says Tara as she passes Donna a paper towel to wipe away her fake tears._

" _Moved on?"_

" _Yeah, the guy you're with."_

" _Oh you mean … uhm … Harold? No, no, no. Harold's my yoga instructor. I need to get in shape for a part in a play. Did I mention I was an actress? When I'm in New York, I always check in with Harold … well let's just say there's no better stress release than a spot of yoga."_

" _You know … I've been thinking about taking up yoga myself. Maybe I should check in with Harold?"_

 _Donna grits her teeth and smiles. "That would be super! In the meantime, can I give you a call about my beach house? I'll be back in the city after the play ends at around … oooh … April, May, so what's that? Eight or nine months?"_

" _That's fits perfect, but my schedule is filling up fast for next year. I definitely have a slot available late spring through to the summer at the moment." She puts her hand in her bag, takes out a slim silver box and passes Donna a business card. "It would be my pleasure to get a chance to work on your project, Mrs Carruthers."_

" _Splendid," says Donna, managing somehow to ignore the swell of rage building in the pit of her stomach. "And please call me Penelope."_

 _Tara extends her hand again. "Lovely to see you again, Penelope. Now if you excuse me, I need to get back to Joshua. He works in California part of the year and he's just got back. Tonight is a bit of a special night for us."_

 _Donna bites her tongue as her inner tiger awakens. She fights the urge to pounce. Hell, she fights the urge to open her mouth and bit Tara's head clean off. "Have a nice evening," she says with barely disguised sadness._

" _Thank you," says Tara as she leaves, her eyes registering the shift in Donna's tone._

 _X X X_

 _When Donna returns to Harvey she demands they pay the bill and leave – her face scripted with words he knows her brain is processing. They go back to Harvey's apartment where she tells him all about her conversation with Tara. Harvey – ever the lawyer – plays devil's advocate. Maybe she said she was free next summer because she intended to pass any new client she won over to her partners. Maybe she was meeting Joshua for old time's sake. Maybe she didn't want to share the truth with a stranger._

 _But Donna wasn't having any of it. She just knew. And if she knew, Harvey knew she'd be right. He advised her to keep out of it – he and Louis were still getting used to life without Jessica – but she refused. How could she keep this from Louis? How could he even ask her?_

 _For the first night in a week they slept together without making love. Harvey held her tight all through the night, but Donna lay awake, her brain thundering with possibilities. How was she going to break this to Louis?_

X X X

 _Harvey slowly wakes to see his bedroom swathed in the pinkish-orange light of a fall Manhattan sunrise. He turns over, stretches and reaches for Donna, but her side of the bed is empty. He sits upright, his heartrate quickening as if it knows something his brain doesn't._

 _He hears rumblings and he can smell the aroma of coffee – the best of Donna smells – so he pulls on his robe and follows his nose._

 _He finds her standing over his kitchen island, flipping through a magazine with a steaming cup of espresso in her hand. He pauses for a moment, allowing himself to skim over the woman he is in love with. Her red hair is tussled and messy and he realises she used to style it like that a couple of years ago, but now she blow dries it into lighter, shinier waves. He wonders if he might have preferred it messier. Messy seems a little more "Donna" than polished. His eyes wander over her body, the straight line of her back, the curve of her hip, the tops of her thighs that inch high under his old and faded Harvard t-shirt. She suits maroon. He tilts his head as he fixes on her legs, the white of her skin blending with the shiny plastic coating of his kitchen units. He loves her legs – they're long and elegant and perfect._

" _I know you're there." Donna glances behind her and smirks. "There's fresh coffee if you want it."_

 _Harvey doesn't answer. He has other things on his mind. He walks towards her, pressing his body against her back and he runs his hands up her legs and over her hips. Then he buries his face in her hair and inhales her scent. "I missed you last night," he says with difficulty, his lips pressed firmly against her neck._

 _Donna's body shivers under his touch. "I was with you … all night."_

" _Not like this you weren't," he says as he pushes her hard against the island and trails kisses from her neck to her shoulder. "And who said you could wear my shirt?"_

 _Donna's breath catches in her throat as he pulls the t-shirt up her back. She feels his hardness press against her and she moans in response, then his hands lift the t-shirt over her head and he removes his robe, their skin and bodies moulding against each other, fitting perfectly and melting into one._

 _He turns her around and kisses her. She tastes of coffee – with a hint of toothpaste – and he can't get enough of it. Their mouths lock, tongues chasing each other, lips brushing against lips, then his mouth on her neck, and her mouth on his jaw, his cheek, his chest. "God, you're beautiful," he tells her as he turns her back to face the counter, removing the remainder of her clothing, followed by his own in swift succession. He wraps his arms around her, groping her breasts and her stomach, his cock pressing eagerly against her ass as she moans and trembles, her arms shaking as she pushes her palms against the countertops._

 _Harvey pushes her hair to one side and sucks lightly at her neck as he gently explores her with his fingers. He groans when he feels her slick wetness. "My god, you're so ready," he says as he pants into her ear. Then he lets one, followed by two, fingers dip inside her._

" _You need protection," she reminds him._

 _But he can't bear to move. "I'll pull out," he assures her, not wanting to settle for anything less than usual, but way too far gone to break the momentum. He waits for her agreement, before pushing into her fully in one impatient thrust which knocks the breath from her lungs. Then they start moving together, her meeting his movements by pushing back against him as one of his hands cups her breast and the other reaches around to caress her clit._

 _And it's fast. Thirty seconds, maybe forty – which is fast. Maybe it was the lack of condom. Maybe it was the 30 hour drought. Whatever it was, it was quick, but it was intense and … better yet, it was the first time that they climaxed at the same time – her body convulsing and closing around him at the exact moment he pulled out, crashing against the kitchen island next to her._

 _Donna gasps for air. "Oh my god that was …"_

" _Awesome," interrupts Harvey. "It was awesome."_

 _Donna grins. "You know, for once, you got me. That was the exact word I was going to use."_

 _They embrace, their bodies a hot sticky mess and the sunshine reminding them they need to be in the office in less than an hour._

" _Donna," says Harvey with a lilt in his tone which immediately signals he has something important to tell her._

" _Yes?" she asks as they kiss._

" _I love you," he says, his voice deep and brooding and real._

" _I love you too, Harvey," Donna replies. "And I promise. I won't leave you. Ever."_

 _He smiles and kisses her again._

" _Unless you're a colossal prize dick."_

 _He gives her a playful shove and then they head for the shower._

X X X

" _ **PRESENT DAY"**_

He's sat with her all morning. He can't remember closing his eyes, but he must have because he can taste sleep in his mouth. He hates falling asleep – not just because he's terrified he might miss her waking up – but because his dreams are always filled with her -

Her smile which lights up the room. Her laughter which makes his heart skip a beat. Her voice, talking to him and soothing him. Her words propping him up and inspiring him. Her body giving him pleasure, loving him, making him complete.

His eyes brim with tears as he stares at her lifeless body. No change. Still no change. The machines beep a rhythm that sets his teeth on edge and the smell … that clinical smell of her room … sends waves of nausea rippling through his stomach. He wants to smell her. He wants to smell her flesh, her bones, her skin and then he wants it mixed with coffee, whipped cream and her favourite gardenia perfume.

But at least she's still warm. He reaches for the piece of her hair that he'd been curling around his fingers most of the morning. He admires his work as he coils the copper one last time and then lets it fall over her shoulder.

And suddenly he can't look at her anymore.

It's too much – too painful – too unfair.

He walks to the door just as the male nurse – Wilfred – enters to check on his patient. Harvey says 'hi' then, conscious that his bladder is telling him he needs to pee, he takes a reprieve. He tells himself he'll be back. He'll grab a coffee, a sandwich maybe, then he'll be back.

As the hospital room door closes behind him he jumps with a start when he spots Louis sitting in a chair outside. He looks like he's been sleeping too, his body is crumpled into a heap and his shirt is pulled tight around his stomach. One sleeve of his shirt is rolled up to his elbow and … shit … is that a bandage?

"Louis what the hell happened?" asks Harvey.

Louis's body jerks to attention as he's pulled from his half-dose. "What? … oh … we gave blood. Me and Mike … and uhm … Stu came down too. And Claire. We wanted to do everything we could to help."

Harvey nods his gratitude and sits next to his former partner.

"How is she?" asks Louis tentatively.

"No change," says Harvey with a gulp. "But she'll be fine. I know she will."

Louis returns a confident nod and Harvey notices his eyes are still red through crying. "I'm so sorry Harvey. You know that don't you? I'm so truly … deeply sorry."

Harvey puts his hand on Louis's shoulder. "This has nothing to do with you Louis. If anyone should be sorry it's me. I didn't … I should have known … I should have known Gallo might pull something like this off. If only … Goddamnit why didn't I hear he'd got out?"

"No, Harvey, you don't understand," says Louis as his face crumples into a frown, his eyebrows angled into deep crevices. "Haven't you heard?"

Harvey's expression falls as the blood rushes from his face and surges through his veins. "What?" he says with a gasp. "What haven't I heard?"

"It's Gallo. They caught him."

"They did?" Harvey shoots to his feet, his hand running through his hair as he collects his thoughts. "I … I've got to see him."

"Harvey, they're never going to let you see him."

He starts pacing backwards and forwards. "Well I need to see the DA. I need to make sure they do this right. No fucking technicalities. No cock-ups with evidence or statements or goddamn confessions … I …"

"Harvey, it'll be fine. Cameron Dennis is handling the prosecution. I already checked it all out. He's got him … he'll see this through for you. He hates Gallo." Harvey stops walking but continues to stand, seemingly taking in the news. "Harvey, that's not all. There's something else I need to tell you and I'm so sorry …"

"Hmm?" Harvey's mind races. He had been so busy thinking about what he could do to make sure Frank Gallo spends the remainder of his miserable life behind bars that he hadn't paid attention to Louis's earlier apology. What was this all about?

"Gallo got out two days ago. It was day release, but he assaulted the guard he was assigned – fed him some bullshit story about having to be somewhere – they don't know who – but somebody helped him. And the only thing he did for the entire day was wait outside that restaurant …" Tears spring from Louis's eyes and stream down his face. "The only thing he did was hurt Donna."

Harvey's body stiffens as he watches Louis collapse in hysterical sobs. He doesn't understand. They knew this already – they knew that Gallo had laid in wait, used a decoy, then … oh shit … the decoy?

"Who was it Louis? Who did it with him?"

Louis shakes his head. "They don't know yet, but a considerable sum of money landed in Gallo's mother's bank account yesterday morning."

Harvey's eyes narrow as his throat constricts. He runs his finger along the collar of his polo shirt trying to give space so his Adam's apple can dislodge from his tightened throat. "Someone paid him to do this? Was it the decoy?"

Louis starts to cry again. "They don't know but they wired the money through two accounts before it landed … and, well I don't know for sure, but …"

"What, Louis? For Christ's sake just tell me, will you?"

"I'm trying!" he barks. Then he pauses to collect his thoughts before lowering his voice. "One of the accounts used to route the money was Tara Messer's firm."

Harvey falls back on his heels, his eyes popping as if he'd been shot in the stomach.

He says nothing, but the pain is real. Could this be down to her? He looks at Louis's devastated face as he sobs into his folded jacket, his body rocking backwards and forwards in the chair and he wonders if his ex-partner can take any more heartache. Losing Tara was one thing. Losing his place in the firm another … now Donna? He knows how much she means to him …

His brain can't connect.

The noise rips through his veins. The siren. It's loud and Louis jumps with a start, but he can't connect.

Not for what seems like minutes.

Not until Wilfred is running out of Donna's room, hollering down the corridor for help.

Not until he hears footsteps pounding down the corridor. A team of doctors and nurses running, clanking equipment on metal trolleys.

He hears Louis cry out – a guttural, painful scream into the sterile space.

And then everything fades to black.


	5. Chapter 5 - Battle Stations

**It's tough to write this given all the happy Darvey-ness going on at the moment. Keep with me though, buys. Happy Ending guarantee remember!**

X X X

 **TEN MINUTES TOO LATE**

 **CHAPTER FIVE**

 **Battle Stations**

" _ **PRESENT DAY"**_

He'd never fainted before in his life. Was that what he just did? He twists on the floor, his body crumpled into a heap, his shoulders slammed up against a row of plastic chairs. How long had he been out? He opens his eyes and focuses …

'Harvey, are you ok?' asks Mike, who is leaning over him. His blue eyes are filled with concern and his skin is blotchy. 'You were out for at least a minute. I was just getting back from giving blood.'

Louis is seated in the chair opposite, his face is a mess. He is no longer crying. Instead he's staring at the floor, no doubt willing it to open up and swallow him. He's never seen Louis look so devastated. Not since he found out about Tara. Not since that day three weeks ago when he'd beat the shit out of him. Not since …

And then he remembers …

His head feels like it's being gripped in a vice the pain is so intense. His neck muscles have been replaced by knives that are cutting into his flesh … all he can hear is his own pulse ringing loud in his ears. His blood surges through his veins as he tries to sit, pushing himself up on his palms. His eyes dart around the waiting area and he knows … he can see it in their faces … Mike looks like he hasn't slept in a month. Louis looks like he's dead … dead too …

He feels tears fill his eyes and he can't stop them. He doesn't even want to stop them. He lets them fall freely and he doesn't care. He's been burying his emotions his entire life, but no more. Not now. He wants to cry for her. He wants to.

'Hey, Harvey …,' says Mike as he places his arm on his shoulder. He looks bewildered. Like he wants to comfort him, but doesn't know how. 'Come on, you gotta be strong.' His voice breaks mid-sentence, but he manages to compose himself.

Harvey manages to pull his leg up and he rests his arm on his knee. Pain shoots through his back as his limbs jar against the legs of the plastic seats – an uncomfortable remind of passing out. He feels Mike grip his arm and he turns to face him, seeing the extent of his own grief mirrored in the eyes of his best friend. 'Has she … is she … gone?'

'She's in surgery,' he replies. 'Her heart stopped again … they think it was a blood clot …'

'Oh god …'

'Harvey, think positively. She's in the best hospital, she has the best doctors …'

'How is this real, Mike? How has it happened …?'

'I don't know buddy, I don't know—'

'She did it.' All eyes fall to Louis who is still staring blankly at the floor. His hands locked together around his stomach.

'What do you mean, Louis?' asks Mike.

'Tara. It was Tara. She did it.'

X X X

" _ **THREE WEEKS AGO"**_

 _Donna knew._

 _Even though Harvey begged her to be careful. She knew._

 _Her friendship with Louis was too important to her. She couldn't keep this from him. She loved him and cared for him way too much to let him fall deeper into the arms of this woman._

 _Harvey and Donna had been arriving at the office together for over a week. Ever since they had taken the next step in their relationship. Nobody had noticed yet – a fact which Donna found hilarious. For the past twelve years there had been persistent rumours that she and Harvey were an item, or more accurately, they were "friends with benefits". Associates, secretaries … everybody … had considered it at some point. Yet now that they were an actual item, nobody had batted an eyelid at their co-ordinated arrivals and departures. Or the looks … or the touches … or the after-hours fumble in the archive room._

' _I know what you're thinking,' says Harvey, squinting at her out of the corner of his eye as he drinks from his take-out coffee cup._

 _Donna stops playing with the plastic rim of her cup and flashes her eyes at him. 'You know nothing.'_

' _I know you're going to tell him.'_

 _She heaves a sigh. 'I have to, Harvey.'_

' _Do you want me to come with you?'_

 _She stifles a giggle. 'You'd do that? You? Harvey Specter? You'd willingly get yourself into a potential broken-hearted Louis Litt situation?'_

 _He looks wounded. 'I'm trying with Louis … and I'm trying … well, I want to support you.'_

 _She can barely believe what she's hearing. Who'd have thought Harvey Specter could come so far. 'I'll be fine Harvey. I think it would be better coming from me.' She leans over and gives him a peck on the cheek. 'And thank you.'_

 _He smiles back at her. 'What for?'_

' _For being so sweet.'_

' _Thank yourself. You made me this way.'_

 _She smiles as the elevator doors open, then they walk out into the lobby together and walk headfirst into a teary Rachel Zane._

' _Rach, what is it?' asks Donna, passing her coffee cup to Harvey and throwing her arms around her best friend's shoulders._

' _I've just heard … the ethics committee. They refused me. They're not letting me take the bar.'_

 _Donna's eyes shift to Harvey whose body instantly braces at the prospect of suiting up and heading into battle. 'Come with me,' he says to Rachel. 'I'll fix this.'_

 _Donna gives her friend a squeeze. 'Leave it to Harvey,' she says and Rachel nods her head and takes a deep breath. It only takes her a few moments for her to compose herself. All three start walking to battle stations, but as Harvey and Rachel take a left turn, Donna takes a right. 'I'll be up in a minute,' she says. 'I have to see Louis about something.'_

 _Harvey mouths "good luck"._

X X X

 _Louis is sitting with Katrina when she approaches his office. She looks through the glass wall and her stomach sinks. He looks happy. She thinks back to all the years she's known him and she realises she's never seen Louis look so happy. In truth, his romance with Tara always seemed slightly farcical, but not for one second did she ever doubt it was real._

' _What's on your mind, Red?'_

' _Hmm?' Donna's attention snaps to Gretchen as she's brought out of her thoughts. 'Oh, I'm just thinking how well Louis is doing. He's getting on with Harvey, he's brought in some new clients, he's working with Katrina again … and the new associates …'_

' _Yeah, he's still a gigantic pain in my ass,' deadpans Gretchen, making Donna giggle._

' _Worse than Harvey?' she says raising her eyebrows._

' _You tell me.' They both laugh, but then Donna's stomach flips over, reminding her what she has to do. She sighs and Gretchen doesn't miss it. 'Problem?'_

' _Yup.'_

 _Gretchen mirrors Donna's earlier sigh, both women reading each other perfectly. Their gaze shifts to Louis's office as Katrina leaves. Donna walks forward tentatively and closes the door behind her. She gives Gretchen an uneasy smile before taking a seat at Louis's desk._

 _Donna notices that Louis is buzzing when he enters the room, but as their eyes lock his face falls and he takes a sits down. 'What is it Donna?' he asks._

' _Louis I have something to tell you and this is really hard for me,' she begins. She looks into her friend's eyes as they narrow with concern._

 _Louis pauses for a moment. 'What's he done?'_

' _What? Who?'_

' _Harvey. Is this about Harvey because if it is, just tell me. I knew it would take long for him to do something underhand. All that bullshit about making up with his mother and turning over a new leaf … I bought it. At least I hoped it was true … but what's he done?'_

 _Donna feels her back stiffen as Louis jumps to the wrong conclusion. Why does he always do that? When will he learn? 'No, Louis. This has nothing to do with Harvey.'_

' _Then what?'_

' _It's about Tara. I bumped into her last night.'_

' _Impossible.'_

' _Why do you say that?' asks Donna, her tone soft and full of compassion._

' _She was at her dad's last night. Telling him about the baby.'_

 _Donna feels her heart break a little bit more. 'She wasn't at her dad's Louis,' she answers carefully. 'We saw her at Angelino's in Greenwich Village. She was with a man and I think it was her ex.'_

' _Who's we?'_

' _What?' asks Donna, confused by Louis's reaction._

' _Who's "we"? Who were you with?'_

' _Louis that isn't relevant to—.'_

' _Yeah, it is. You're trying to tell me Tara was out cheating on me last night, when I know she was at her dad's. So tell me who you were out with?'_

' _Well I was out with Harvey as it happens, but—'_

' _I knew it!' snaps Louis. 'I see where this is going. Harvey thinks I'm not good enough for Tara, doesn't he?'_

' _Louis that has nothing to do with—'_

' _Yes it does. And you? You made it look like you wanted to help me find someone, but you didn't … not really.'_

 _Louis's sharp words cut through Donna's composure and the red mist rises. 'Louis, how can you even say that to me? I did everything I could … spent hours, days helping you. Have you even heard what I just said just now, about Tara?'_

 _Louis reclines back in his chair and stretches his legs out in front of him. 'Yeah, I heard. Wanna know what I think?'_

 _For one of very few times in her life, Donna is lost for words. So she simply nods her head._

' _I think you've been laughing at me from day one. I think both of you have.'_

' _What? No … of course we haven't.'_

' _Did you see her out with a mysterious man or did he?'_

' _Me,' says Donna with a level of irritation. She forces herself to remain calm. 'Harvey knows nothing about her. He wouldn't have recognised her.'_

 _Louis swallows and Donna hopes it's a sign of him coming to his senses. 'Right, okay, you saw her out. Maybe it was her dad she was with.'_

 _Louis starts fidgeting around his desk, punching at the keys on his keyboard. Donna bites her lip and wonders if she should get up and leave. Harvey had warned her, but as always she thought she knew best. She watches Louis intently, scanning his mannerisms, his body language, the way his head bobs as he taps furiously on his keyboard. There's something about his expression that she can't fathom. It's as if he was expecting to hear news like this. Had he been having doubts himself? She notices how hard he is concentrating on ignoring her and she realises this probably wasn't an unexpected shock._

 _She leans forward and tries to broach the subject again. 'I didn't just see Tara, Louis. I spoke to her.'_

 _He stops typing and his body deflates. He still doesn't meet her gaze. 'She didn't say.'_

' _She doesn't know.'_

 _Louis's eyes pop and he shakes his head. 'Donna, what the hell are you talking about? You're making no sense. And I'm starting to wonder if this is some sick joke you've cooked up with Harvey. '_

 _Donna senses that Louis is spiralling downwards into paranoia. She knew this wasn't going to be easy, but she didn't imagine the scene would unfold like this. 'I recognised her when we were out … from the photograph on your desk. So, I went to talk to her. I didn't tell her who I was.'_

' _Okay … so …'_

' _So she was out with Joshua.'_

 _Louis freezes then looks to the ceiling. Donna waits patiently for him to look at her, but he doesn't say anything._

' _And … I'm sorry Louis,' she says, her voice breaking in sync with her heart. 'I'm truly sorry but I don't think she's pregnant. I think she's lying.'_

' _Get out.'_

' _Louis—'_

' _I said get out.'_

 _Donna starts to sob with both sadness and frustration. Louis isn't shouting or yelling. He isn't biting back, making up excuses. He isn't crying on her shoulder. He's doing nothing. He's saying nothing. And the silence is unnerving – like the calm before the storm._

 _His skin is reddening and his body is visibly trembling as he stares blankly at his console. His eyes protrude under his black eyebrows and her stomach knots. She's reminded of that time a year and a half ago in Harvey's office when Louis found out about Mike. He's wearing the same menacing expression and she knows she should just go, but she can't. She doesn't want to leave him._

 _So she stands, then she pushes down her cobalt blue skirt and walks around his desk. She crouches down next to him and places her arm on his …_

… _and he snaps …_

 _He pulls back his arm with such force that his hand collides with Donna's jaw and she falls backwards, crashing against the wall._

 _Louis jumps out of his seat in shock. 'Donna I'm sorry,' he says quickly just as Gretchen barges into the office, rushing past him and reaching out to help Donna to her feet. 'I didn't mean it … it was an accident.'_

 _Donna winces and rubs the back of her neck which bore the brunt of her tumble. Then she tries to talk, but her voice cracks and instead she shrieks out in pain as the pain in her jaw burns into her cheek._

' _Louis, what the hell do you think you're doin'?' yells Gretchen as she guides Donna to sit down in the armchair._

 _Louis walks backwards in silence, his face crumpled with anguish. 'I'm sorry … I didn't mean it …'_

' _I think you need a day!' she barks at her boss._

 _Louis doesn't respond, but he does leave the office._

 _As soon as they're alone, Gretchen pulls Donna into a motherly hug. 'I'm sorry Red,' she says. 'I heard every word. He's hurting. Hurting real bad, but he shouldn't have taken it out on you.'_

 _Still a little dazed, Donna thanks Gretchen by giving her arm a light squeeze, then she stands up and starts walking to the door. She isn't thinking of herself … she's only thinking of him …_

' _Red, what're you gonna do?' calls Gretchen._

' _I don't know,' replies Donna, turning around and wiping away more tears. 'Find him I guess. Check he's okay.'_

 _Gretchen sucks in a breath and tuts. 'You should leave him to calm himself down. He needs to talk to that woman of his.'_

' _I know,' sobs Donna. 'I'll just … uhm … he might still be around … I'll go check …'_

 _She sways on her heels as she walks to her cubicle, her head still reeling from where she fell and her jaw burning with an agonising heat that is stopping her from fully closing her mouth. She knows Louis didn't mean to do it, but the fact he did strike her is hurting deep._

 _Rachel and Mike are with Harvey when she arrives at her desk – her cold coffee waiting for her. She thinks about rushing in to tell them what just happened, but she doesn't. Instead she switches on her console and starts preparing for the day ahead. She checks Harvey's schedule, she logs onto the firm's systems and she makes a to-do list … or rather she starts to make a list … her brain isn't working … and shit … her jaw feels like it's separating from her face._

 _After ten minutes of ringing around various stations in the firm Donna concludes that Louis hasn't left the building, he has left the floor, he may or may not have returned to the floor and he's possibly in the bathroom. She's thinking about going to find him when Mike and Rachel shuffle out of Harvey's office throwing her a random 'hi Donna', before heading off with their arms full of paperwork and –probably – a to-do list to solve Rachel's ethics committee dilemma._

 _Then she finds herself in Harvey's doorway._

 _He looks up at her and smiles. And then his face drops. And he shoots to his feet. 'Donna … what? … What the hell happened?'_

 _Donna wipes at her face. 'He didn't … take … it well,' she says – her voice strained due to the pain in her jaw._

' _Goddamn it,' he says as he walks towards her. 'I knew this would happen … you should have just left him to find out for …' Harvey's voice trails off. He twists his face to the light and his eyes fix upon the blue blemish which is slowly colouring Donna's right jawline and cheek. 'Donna …?' he asks with a gulp. 'Donna … what did he do?'_

 _Donna's hand moves instinctively to her face. 'It was an accident,' she says with difficulty._

 _He's on her immediately, his eyes glassy and his face flushed red. 'He did this?' he asks, his body already tense with rage._

 _Donna steels herself to deflect. She knows where this is heading. 'Harvey I said it was an accident. He was upset. Devastated. I think he already suspected … maybe … I was trying to comfort him and he moved away … and he … struck out, but he didn't mean to.'_

' _I'll kill him! Where the hell is he!'_

' _Harvey, no … and I'm serious. I told you it was an accident and I mean it … he … god … I've never seen him like that. It was worse than when he found out about Mike …' her voice chokes at the memory and Harvey rushes towards her, examining her face briefly, before holding her tight to his chest._

' _He isn't getting away with this, Donna. I don't care how upset he is.'_

' _I need you to promise me you won't make things worse, Harvey. Please. I'm scared for him … you should have seen him.'_

' _I don't give a shit. Look at your face, you can barely move your mouth.'_

' _It'll be fine. It's just bruised.'_

 _He tucks her head into the crook of his neck and starts stroking her hair. 'I don't want you to go after him. I'll find him …'_

' _Harvey …?'_

' _I'm serious, Donna. You're not being around him. Not while he's like this.' He affectionately kisses her forehead, then the bridge of her nose._

' _Oh my god I don't believe it!' They both pull away and startle at the sight of Louis Litt in the doorway. His shirt is untucked, he's lost his tie and his sleeves are rolled to his elbows. He swaggers into the office shaking his head from side to side. 'So let me get this straight … you two? Seriously, Donna? You'd go there again … with him? You'd leap back on the Harvey Specter roller coaster after everything … Scottie, Zoe, my_ _ **sister**_ _… half of fucking New York City!'_

' _Watch yourself Louis. After what you've just done, you're lucky I'm not beating the shit out of you right the hell now!'_

 _Louis doesn't flinch. He's well beyond caring. 'So, I've spent the last half hour wondering what's going on here and I thought I'd got it. Why would Donna want to ruin my relationship? You know what I decided? Hmm? I decided you were jealous. That's right. Jealous! Because look at you … you're nearly forty. You're alone. You've never been able to hold down a relationship and you've spent the past twelve years of your miserable life pining for a man who'll never seen you as a possibility. But looks like I was wrong. Looks like Harvey was looking to ride that old roller coaster again.'_

 _Donna bristles with rage and Harvey lurches forward, but he feels her arm on his arm, holding him back. 'I was trying to help you Louis.'_

' _No. No, you weren't. You were sticking your nose where it doesn't belong. As usual.'_

' _Louis, you need to walk yourself out of my goddamn office right now, before I do something I might regret,' warns Harvey._

' _Oh here we go … what are you going to do? Hit me?'_

' _You're damned right I will – and it's the least you goddamn deserve. Look at what you've done to her. You're a poisonous piece of shit who can't even do the right thing after he goddamn knows he's behaved like a fucking thug. And you know just as everyone knows that Donna was trying to help you just like she said.'_

' _You're calling me a thug … you?'_

' _I've never hit a woman Louis …'_

' _So you say. Who knows what you've done in your fucked up life. I always bought that shit about your mommy messing up your life, but you haven't been a kid for a long time Harvey. You can't keep blaming your mom for you screwing up the life of every woman you touch.'_

' _What did you just say to me?'_

' _I said you're a snivelling, screw-up and Donna is a pathetic fool—'_

 _Louis doesn't finish his sentence as Harvey knocks him out with one hard blow to his temple. He crashes to the floor, grimacing and holding his face as Harvey hovers over him ready for more. 'Get up you piece of shit!' he screams._

' _Harvey, no!' shrieks Donna._

… _and then Mike appears ... 'Harvey! Back away now!'_

 _He launches another blow to Louis's stomach as he lies on the ground. Mike wrestles Harvey away, dragging him with a grip lock around his shoulder._

 _Harvey pulls free of Mike's hold and starts pacing the floor of his office. Mike then goes to Louis and helps him to his feet. He doesn't have to think twice about where to lay the blame. 'Louis, I don't know what the hell you've done this time, but I think you better get out of here.'_

 _Louis is hunched over his own body, his arms wrapped around his stomach and his face sporting a cut lip. 'Yeah … you're damned right I'm getting out of here … and Donna …' he twists his face up to stop himself from crying. 'I'll never forget this. Never.'_

 _Harvey whips around ready to pounce again, but Mike positions himself between them, waiting until Louis leaves._

 _Then he looks between Donna and Harvey. 'What the hell was that all about?'_

' _It's a long story,' says Donna as she takes a seat on the leather sofa. Mike and Harvey join her and they talk over the events of the day … and yesterday … and the entire week. Mike listens with horror as he hears what Louis did. Then his rage turns to sympathy as he finds out about Tara. Then his sympathy turns to delight as he finds out that his best friend finally – finally – took the plunge._

X X X

Mike insisted that he went home.

Donna was out of surgery and back in ICU, and he was told he wouldn't be able to see her for several hours.

That didn't mean he wouldn't make trip to his apartment as fleeting as possible. Mike went back with him, insisting that he wanted to make sure he was ok. Harvey hated that. He hated feeling like Mike was fretting over him, but he was pleased with the company. Mike hadn't been home either. Not that he had a real home anymore. With Rachel in Chicago he had moved out of their apartment and back into a replica of the squalid studio he'd been living in when they first met.

'You can lend anything of mine, Mike,' shouts Harvey from his living room as he rustles up a quick snack for the pair of them.

Mike appears in the doorway in a pair of joggers and an old Harvard t-shirt and Harvey freezes, his stomach sinking to his knees. 'Not that.'

'Hmm?' asks Mike as he towel dries his hair.

'Not that. Take it off.'

Harvey's voice is laced with panic and Mike does a double take – not sure what he's referring to. He looks down at the clothes he picked out of Harvey's drawer. 'Not what? The tee?'

Harvey gulps as tears form in his eyes. He feels stupid, but his heart is calling all the shots. 'She wears that.'

Mike smiles apologetically as the reasons for Harvey's reaction becomes clear. He pulls the t-shirt over his head and folds it neatly before returning to the bedroom and choosing another item of clothing. When he returns Harvey passes him a sandwich.

'I'm sorry,' he says, but Mike dismisses him with a wave of his hand.

Harvey takes a bite of food and struggles to chew. He doesn't want to eat, but his body needs it. He finishes as quickly as he can and then makes some coffee.

'Thanks for today, Mike,' says Harvey with his back turned as he preps the coffee machine.

'I didn't do all that much,' replies the younger lawyer.

'You were there, that's enough.'

Mike takes a bite of sandwich. 'I wish I could do more. We all gave blood, which is a small thing, but it feels like we helped.'

'How's things going with Claire?' asks Harvey and he immediately starts to wish he hadn't begun the conversation.

'Fine. Good,' says Mike half-heartedly.

'You miss Rachel?' he asks, stating the obvious.

Mike sighs. 'I guess, but what she did was for the best. After she failed the bar, because of me, I knew our relationship wouldn't survive that. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself, so I'm sure our break was for the best. Who knows what the future holds. When … or if … she comes back from working with Jessica, then she'll have her career – her dream – and I'll know I haven't ruined her life.'

Harvey pours their drinks and passes a cup to his friend. 'Life's too short, Mike,' he says suddenly.

Mike looks at him and swallows before taking a drink. 'I know.'

'Do you? You and Rachel … you had each other, so you had everything.'

Mike smiles sadly. 'I know what you're saying, but—'

'There's no buts, Mike. I fell in love with Donna the very first day we met, but I was too goddamn screwed up and too chicken shit scared to do anything about it. Twelve years. I could have had her for twelve years—'

'You did have her.'

He takes another drink and his cheek dimples as he stares down at the kitchen worktop. 'I thought I did, but compared to these last few weeks … I had nothing. Look, all I'm saying is, if you want Rachel fight for her. And don't stop fighting for her.' He drains his coffee cup and pulls on a jacket. 'Do right by Claire first though.'

X X X

They make their way back to the Intensive Care Unit of Mount Sinai hospital in silence.

Harvey checks his cell for the twentieth time to make sure he hasn't missed a call. Mike sits next to him contemplating the conversation they had. Rachel had contacted him earlier in the day to say she and Jessica were making plans to fly out. He had put them off. Told them that there was little they could do at the moment, but he'd felt guilty when he later realised he's put her off because he didn't want to face her. He didn't want to have _**that**_ conversation.

As they make their way to the ICU, Harvey's gaze fixes upon the corridor where Donna's doctor is talking to a familiar face. He studies the man's features and his pulse starts to race. All he sees is devastation embedded in his eyes.

Harvey approaches carefully. 'Jim, Dr. March, how is she?' he asks as Mike stands beside him, his arm resting on his back for support.

Jim Paulsen turns his gaze slowly to meet Harvey's and he tucks a finger underneath his glasses to wipe away a tear. 'She's stable,' he says.

'I'll leave you both to talk,' says the doctor as he walks away, his arms enveloped around a series of clip boards.

Harvey breathes a sigh of relief. 'Is there a prognosis? How long do they think before she comes round?'

'They're not sure she will,' says Jim, his face twisting as more tears fall.

Harvey's eyes glaze over, but he stands firm. 'She will. I know she will.'

'I hope you're right, Harvey. God knows I do. But, if her heart stops again … they … uhm …'

Harvey freezes as Jim falters, choking on his own words. He senses the man's agony. Donna is his only child and even though they haven't always seen eye to eye he respects him and he knows how much he loves her. 'What is it, what have they said?' he asks. The elderly man's body is racked with sobs.

'They want me to sign a "do not resuscitate" order. They think it's for the best. They don't think her poor body can take any more.'

'What? No! You'll have to get past me first!' he yells.

'That's my baby girl in there. I want her to get well, but I don't want her to suffer.'

'It hasn't even been twenty-four hours yet! Jim, you can't!'

'I don't want to Harvey. But what choice do I have?'

'Jim, look, you're going to say no to this.'

The older man sniffs away his tears and his back stiffens. 'I'm her next of kin, not you. She's my daughter. I love her more than anything else in this world. Do you think I want to do this? Of course I don't, but I'll not see her lie in that room with machines keeping her alive. That's not what Donna would want.'

Harvey feels himself start to unravel. He can't believe what he's hearing. He can't even comprehend that Jim is considering doing this. 'Donna is fighting in there … do you hear me? She's fighting with everything she has … she's fighting to get back to me!'

Jim's face falls and Harvey realises that Donna mustn't have told him. 'What do you mean, "get back to you"? You're just her boss … aren't you?'

Harvey sucks in a breath, his cheeks dimpling as he concentrates on finding the right words. 'No, we're together,' he admits.

Jim looks more shocked than Harvey imagined. Surely he'd thought it possible … over the years … 'Oh,' is all he says.

Harvey glances around the room and notices that Mike has left his side to sit in the waiting area again, giving him privacy. 'Don't do this, Jim. Please. I love her too'.

'I'm sorry Harvey. I'm not going to sign yet, but if she shows no sign of getting better and she goes through something like that again … needing intervention to restart her heart … then I have to. I can't let her suffer … Donna would hate this.'

Harvey's blood starts to boil. 'You do this and I'll come at you with everything I have. I'm not giving up on her. You wanna know how many judges I can approach to slap an order on you proclaiming you're unfit to make a decision like this? You're a failure. You're a failed businessman … a goddamn failure at life … and while there's a breath in my body you are not taking away Donna's chance to get through this …'

Jim starts to walk away, but then he snaps back. 'You know Harvey, I've always kept quiet about my feelings about you with my daughter. I never told her how much I resented the control you had over her. I never interfered – I only hoped she'd realise her own worth – realise she deserved better than the half-life you gave her. But I guess she never did. And in the end, that's what has killed her.'

'Don't you goddamn dare say those words to me! Donna isn't dead and she's not going to die.'

'She died a long time ago and she's in that room now because of you.' He turns away from Harvey again, walking towards Donna's hospital room, his shoulders hunched and his body crumpled.

All Harvey can do is stare after him.

He bites the inside of his cheek and his head swims as Jim's words hit home. His words hit to the core of who he is because he knows his words have some truth.

If it wasn't for him, Donna wouldn't be lying in that room, fixed to machines, fighting for her life.

He watches Jim enter Donna's room and he realises he has to leave.


End file.
